you and i walk a fragile line | wyatt

[Finn Keagan]

It was early in the morning, but yet again the young man couldn't sleep. His life had turned around for the better, but it didn't rid his dreams of the nightmares. Lily had questioned him about maybe seeing someone for it. They wanted him to go into therapy, the place he came from that was, but he wasn't ready yet. Lily was gentle in her urgings, and she knew when to let up. The other place had no idea when enough was enough, and Finn was starting to despise them. He needed time. Three weeks wasn't really enough time to get over what he had been through. His bruises were finally just starting turn that ugly shade of yellow before disappearing completely. His wrist was done up in a brace instead of a cast, which made things a lot easier. But it was still a constant reminded. His wrist had been shattered completely, and it would bring him pain for the rest of his life. He was lucky he had movement in it...that was what the doctors had said. He might not have regained the use of it at all if he hadn't been brought in when he had.

Finn sighed softly from his small bed in the hayloft. He cam out here when he couldn't sleep in the bunkhouse for the TTI kids. He was the only one right now because he was taking a lot longer to heal than the rest. And also, Silver Stag felt almost like home to him. He didn't want to leave simply because it felt like it was the only place he belonged. However, he couldn't ask to stay. That wasn't like him, and it was downright rude as well. He would just have to hope for the best when he got out of here. Curling up a little bit more in his sleeping bag, he tried his best to fall back to sleep. It was really early, and not even the horses were moving in their stalls. He didn't hear the ranch hands climbing around either. Finn was starting to grow a lot more comfortable around Billy and Carl, and especially Wyatt. Finn could even say that he liked Wyatt, which was a big step for him. He just needed time though.

And Love Me Sweet. Thinking about the palomino horse made Finn's heart break a little bit. he knew what the horse was going through, and seeing the horse's pain hurt Finn deeply. He wanted to help him, but he saw the same look in Sweet's eyes as he did in his own, if that made sense. How was he ever going to help this horse if he couldn't help himself? He just needed to try. And on that note, he could no longer sleep. He had to find Sweet and try to get through to the palomino. It would be better for them both. As he threw back the sleeping bag and the other blankets covering him, he instantly regretted it. It was freezing! Pulling jeans on over the long johns he had brought up here, he pulled on the clean thermal shirt, followed by a flannel and his heavy winter coat that Lily had gotten for him. He owed her a lot, that was for sure.

Shoving his feet into his winter boots, which was another gift, he found his gloves and hat and started down the ladder. Sometimes Noah slept up here with him, but the australian shepherd wasn't a stupid one. It had been a cold night and he had remained inside with Lily. Lily always gave the dog the option at night to go out with Finn, but the dog had stayed close for some reason. Finn didn't mind at all, but he could have used the extra warmth. He shook it off for now and instead climbed down the ladder. He reached the ground quickly and efficiently, and was glad to see that the sun was starting to come up. The TTI horses were outside with the run in, and Finn went outside willingly to see Sweet. No one could really get that close to him to bring him inside anyway. As Finn reached the fence, he wet his lips and sent out a low whistle. He saw the golden ears flicker and the head turn, but that was all that he got. Sighing in slight frustration, he saw his breath float out before him, and then climbed up and over the rail to the pasture. Sometimes you had to make the first move, but Finn would never push Love Me Sweet.

He only went a few steps before he sat down upon the frozen ground. He would wait him out. If Sweet decided to come to him, then that'd be wonderful. If not, then he was out of luck. But Sweet was going to grow used to the fact that Finn was here. Right now, he only got a few steps in his direction. It always took Sweet a few moments to warm up to him, but Finn was determined to make progress with him. Crossing his legs, he wrapped his arms around himself to keep himself a bit warmer, and then settled down for the long wait. He wished it wasn't this cold, but what could he do? He was staying with Sweet until the gelding came over. Right now, Finn's eyes were at the ground so he wouldn't scare Sweet off. Now it all depended on who could wait longer.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 1775
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Town Called Hypocrisy by Lostprophets

Wyatt was sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. He had grown tired of waiting to fall back asleep after laying in bed for nearly two hours. That didn't mean of course that he wasn't tired. God knows he was running himself dry of energy but it was tight and he had to keep himself going. He had to tell himself that Lily was going to make her recovery. After the doctors visit they had new hope and Wyatt had good reason to be optimistic again. Of course he was real in the fact that Lily might have a lapse but it was still early days and they all needed something good to hold onto. If he was a religious man he would be on his knees ten times a day praying for his wife's health. He had been laying in bed for those last ten minutes looking on as she slept. He had wanted to kiss her but had thought better of it. He didn't want to risk waking her when she already needed whatever sleep she could get.

So there he was, finally looking up with a heavy sigh and resting his chin on his hands. He was leaning on the table with his elbows and besides him was Gunner, who had woken and left Katy's bed and jumped at Wyatt's heels. The dog was sitting quietly, abnormally lethargic as he too struggled to wake. His eyes were closing and his head was drooping. Noah was nowhere to be seen but Wyatt figured Lily's dog was out in the barn. He cleared his throat and stood, careful not to scrape the chair on the wooden floor in case he woke the rest of his family. He was wearing a black long sleeved shirt and a pair of working jeans. As he walked towards the door he retrieved his father's winter coat and pulled it on. He avoided slamming the screen door on his way out but once he was there the cold hit him. It was crisp and Wyatt was usually sleeping for another hour before his day started. It was four in the morning and dark. It was winter so the sun wouldn't be up for another good few hours so Wyatt would have to make due. He didn't have his stetson on and without it his hair was just fine, even though it needed a cut. Gunner trotted ahead of Wyatt and knew exactly where they were headed. The barn loomed ahead and was darker than its navy background, the big blue sky.

Can you take this broken boy?
And put the pieces back as one?
Though he has all of his toys...
He is never having fun

Because it's not enough
Now we're growing up
We are giving up
We are moving on
Because its not enough
We were growing up
We are giving up
And I won't hear what you say so...

Save your sympathy
Who do you think you're fooling?
Everything is dead!
Now you welcome me,
To a town called hypocrisy

Out in the paddocks Wyatt could see some of the horses that Wyatt had left out overnight. That included Love Me Sweet, Frequent Flyer and for the first time he had taken Desert Dancer into the stables. She had been quite nervous of the stall but had been placed between two of the calmest horses they had to prevent the whole barn from acting up if Dancer had a bad reaction during the night. He was going out to check on her and failed to see Finnegan sitting with Love Me Sweet. He pulled open the barn door and walked past four of the stalls before finding Dancer. He leaned on the half door and peered inside. Sure enough she was still awake and had her nose in the bedding, sniffing at one of the corners. The mare startled when she heard Wyatt and snorted, the whites of her eyes showing. She started making a fuss, snorting repeatedly.

Dancer, c'mon now. Calm down, mustang.

His voice was gentle for a man of his size but Wyatt knew what was and what was not good for a horse. Right then a soft voice was what Dancer needed. The bay roan mare halted her fussing and slowly began to calm down. She still paced in the small space and eventually approached the half door over which Wyatt was leaning. He had his arm up and was waiting for her to come around. She put her nose into his hand and nibbled at the sleeve and stood for one pat before backing away again. She still struggled with anyone other than Raine but would tolerate Wyatt on the occasion. They had done her halter training and she took to it well. They would start to put a blanket on her back in the coming days and then eventually the saddle.

Wyatt eyed a few of the other horses who had begun to wake after Dancer's fuss and peered out from their half doors. Among the horses was Cowboy and Buck Ryder. Cowboy was Raine's other horse and Dancer knew him after the two had befriended when they put Cowboy in with her in the wild horse pen. Wyatt would take Dancer out to the paddock instead of the pen for the first time, and if she had her friend there would be less of a chance that she would try to escape. Wyatt walked down and took Cowboy's halter off of the hook and opened the half door, patting the gelding's neck and then fitting the halter with the lead already attached. He walked the dun out of his stall and down towards where Dancer was. He looped Cowboy's lead through the hook then opened up Dancer's stall door. Halter in hand he approached the mare who resisted him at first, walking in tight circles before standing still long enough for Wyatt to get the halter fitted onto her head. She rubbed her head against his back as Wyatt walked out with her lead rope in hand. He took up Cowboy's lead and led him forward, bringing out Dancer who tentatively stepped over the doorway. She didn't like the sound of her hooves on the wooden floor and danced on the tips of her hooves. Cowboy walked calmly and occasionally the two clashed when Dancer's tail flicked his flanks. He would reach out and nip her shoulder, to which the mare would act indignant and throw her ears back. Wyatt shook his head as he watched the two walk alongside each other. He led them out of the barn and towards the paddocks. A little black figure in the run-in where Sweet was standing. Wyatt stood still and Dancer walked in the way of his line of vision, impatiently throwing out one of her back legs and nearly catching Cowboy.

Watch yourself.

Wyatt warned the mare then moved her forwards, able to see the spot of black. Wyatt had to watch out for predators coming down from the mountains and attacking his horses. He strained his eyes and was finally able to establish the figure as being a human one. Must be Finn. Who else would Sweet let into his little paddock? Wyatt didn't make a noise in case he spooked Sweet but from Dancer's antics he supposed he had caught the palomino's attention already. The rancher led the two horses up to the paddock and opened the gate, if not with some difficulty from Dancer. She would have to get used to the whole routine and Wyatt couldn't blame her for being antsy. He let the two loose with their halters still on and hung the leads over the fence. He watched the two of them. Dancer set off around the fencing, shaking her lowered head and bucking a few times. She was always impatient with the halter and with the excitement of exploring new territory, she was unusually active. Dancer was always the quiet one in her pen until it came to her training or anything else new and exciting. Wyatt watched her with some amusement, staying a few minutes to see how she was reacting but he didn't spot anything out of the usual. Turning his back he walked back to where he had seen Finn.

Wyatt had grown fond of Finn and there was some progress with the young man. He could see that it was hard for him to face all of his problems but the point of TTI was to bring them back to a place where they could come to terms with their troubles. They could take as long as they needed but Wyatt was also new to this programme. He was learning how to help these kids that came through and they seemed to be getting better. Finn, however, seemed to mean more to Wyatt than just some TTI kid. He had not admitted it directly but Finn was almost like a son. Almost. Wyatt couldn't attach himself to the kid because he figured that Finn would move on. It didn't seem to occur to Wyatt that Finn might be growing attached to the life Wyatt had set up for himself in Arizona.

Wyatt kept a comfortable distance for Sweet's sake, standing with his hands in his jean pockets. He watched for a little while then made a closer approach in order to be able to speak to Finn with the young man hearing him.

Mornin' Finn. I'll be in the barn if ya need anythin'.

He had kept it brief in order not to prove a big distraction from Finn's time with the troubled horse. Wyatt lingered and if you were watching closely, there was a touch of fondness in the small smile that crept up onto his lips. Once again Wyatt returned to the barn and removed his jacket after closing the barn door. He rolled up his sleeves to his elbows despite the cold. He would work up some warmth once he got to work. He went towards the little room set apart from the stalls. The cosy room housed the horse's tack, which was plentiful and there were plastic bins in which he kept the horse's feed like oats and pellets. Wyatt readied a large bucket in which he scooped the pellets. In thirty minutes or so he'd do his rounds feeding all of the horses with two scoops of pellets. For now he'd clean the tack. It all needed a good cleaning and to keep the leather supple he would have to use some of the treatments and polish. First of all he got his own saddle which he used often on Hero. He gathered it up then set it down on a large piece of wood crafted especially for saddles to be put upon. Alongside it Wyatt pulled up a little stool. He went to the tap with a bucket and filled it up with water then got the soap, going on over to the saddle and with a cloth began rubbing in the soap to get off all the dirt and grime.

[Lily Parker]

Finn would not give up with this horse. He had given up way too many times in his life. This program was supposed to help him. This program was supposed to get him past what his father had done to him, and past the kid he used to be. It was hard for Finn to trust, there was no doubt about that. He trusted Wyatt, but for now, a small part of him would always be wary. He had trusted his father for how many years? And that man had turned on him in a moment, blaming Finn for his mother's death. Finn had no control over the cancer that his mom had fought with. But he had been with her through it all while his father was the coward. His father had drinken himself into a state every single night in the back bedroom, and if Finn so much as made a noise, the boy would suffer. The beatings hadn't been bad until the last one, which landed Finnegan here. He didn't know what he would have done if he hadn't come here.

The horses breathed a new life into him. He had been around horses at home, and they were one of the reasons for his constant beatings. His father said that Finn was wasting his time at the barn, and those creatures were good for nothing but dog food. However, Finn worked there. He worked to pay the bills that his father couldn't afford, and he worked there because the horses never judged him. They never did anything malginant. They just listened, and they trusted. And for Finn, having a horse's trust was worth more to him than anything else. He was worth something because an animal believed he was. The young man sighed now, trying to get all of the thoughts out of his head. Some days were harder for him than others, there was no doubt about that. And since it had almost been a month since he had been almost killed by his father with a baseball bat, he was struggling a little today. The reminders of that fateful day were still with him, from the light yellow shade around his eye and jawbone, to the brace on his healing wrist.

Finn just shook his head, and then looked to the palomino gelding. Sweet was staring across at him, and was slowly taking steps Finn's way. Finn didn't want to get his hopes up because Sweet usually walked his way. But he always stopped far away. As the horse seemed to stop in his usual spot, Finn sighed. He wanted to give up sometimes. He didn't seem to be making any progress whatsoever. He couldn' get close to Sweet, no matter what he tried. The horse was just as broken as Finn was though, and they were both healing one another, which they didn't realize. Sweet was slowly accepting and almost trusting of the young man who came and visited him everyday without fail. And Finn felt as if he was needed. That was all that the young man wanted. He also wished that he had a place to call home. He loved Silver Stag, and he cared about Wyatt and Lily, and even Katy. But they were a small family with their own problems, and Finn didn't think that they would want him added onto their pile. He just needed to accept that his stay here wasn't permanent, which was something that bothered him a lot. He knew it was selfish, but more than anything else, he wanted to call this place home.

Shaking his head, he suddenly saw Sweet's attention focused behind him. Moving his head slowly to look over his shoulder, Finn saw a figure leading a rather frisky horse outside. It was hard to make out the horses, but Finn could tell that it was Wyatt. And for a moment, he wished that he could think of him as a father. Wyatt was already more of a father to Finn than his real father had been. Finn was grateful for everything that Wyatt had done for him, including giving a chance in the first place. Wyatt had respected him, and he had been there for him, which was what Finn had needed. The young man sighed and turned back to Sweet. The gelding had grown alert when the horses came out, and he pranced forward, but then seemed to remember himself. His eyes found Finn once more, and the boy and the horse stared back at one another.

"Easy boy. I don't know how to help you understand that I'm never going to hurt you."

He whispered quietly, watching as Sweet's ears flicked back and forth. This was the closest the horse had ever gotten to Finn, or anyone else. Finn could reached out and brush the gelding's knee if he wanted to. He wouldn't, but he wanted to. It was then that Wyatt approached, but Sweet stilled stayed where he was, intent on Finn for some reason now. Finn heard Wyatt's words, and he gave him a nod that he hoped was visible. He just didn't want to startle Sweet with his words. As Wyatt walked away, Sweet was watching the man's progress. And in another moment, the palomino stepped closer to Finn. Finn slowly lifted his hand from his own knee and held it out for Sweet. It was then that Finn touched him for the first time. It was quick, and Sweet seemed to remember himself, hurrying backwards. But it filled Finn with hope and with a certain warmth. As Sweet went back to nosing at the ground, Finn slowly got up. He slowly walked out of the pasture, but that was where his slow pace ended.

As soon as he knew he wouldn't spook Sweet, he sprinted forward, the dirt flying up from beneath his boots. Boots that Lily had brought him into town to get. He was loved by these people, but he just didn't realize how much. Finn sprinted into the barn, looking for Wyatt. He was the one person that he wanted to tell. Sweet had just come to him, and he had let him touch him! He spooked away after that, but it didn't matter. It was still progress.

"Wyatt! Wyatt guess what?!"

He shouted, running down the aisle of the barn. He found Wyatt in the tack room, cleaning his big western saddle. The joy and elation on Finn's face was something that Wyatt probably never witnessed before. But Finn didn't care anymore. He stood as still as he could, but it was obvious that he wanted to tell WYatt something important. And then he couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Sweet....he just came to me! And he let me touch him!"

He finally managed to get out, and the smile was apparent on his still slightly yellowed face from the bruises. Shifting slightly, he waited for Wyatt's response, hoping he'd be just as excited.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 1031
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Blow Me Away by Breaking Benjamin

Wyatt had become accustomed to waking up at the crack of dawn, if not earlier. The horses were always awake by the time that Wyatt got here but even now most of them still seemed to retreat sleepily into their stalls. Wyatt had just left the tack room light on rather than the lights that lit up the whole barn. He'd let them all get their next half hour of rest before he bothered them with anything. As for himself his eyes felt heavy but he seemed to wake a little from his state once he began to clean the tack. He used small little circles and then large strokes to rub the dirt right off of the saddle. There were patterns engraved in the leather along the flap. For that part Wyatt had to pay extra attention.

Wyatt's thoughts wandered and he found himself thinking about the time he had trained Hero to the saddle. He had raised the colt from birth and his initial liking to the foal's dark coat eventually became a bond because of personalities. Hero had shown dominance alongside his sire and once the stallion passed, it was all Hero's. Wyatt had never agreed to have the colt gelded because he saw the potential in the stallion for great offspring. They had shared a close bond, the two of them. The halter had been easy but it had only been the tip of the ice berg. Training him to have something on his back? Now that had been damn exhausting. The young colt had bucked off anything Wyatt put on the horse's back. He'd fought him for nearly three weeks to a point where the two were struggling to accept each other. They had had to go through that rough patch before they ever got as close as they were today. Hero and Wyatt were a team when they were together and each knew the other quite well. Wyatt had eventually figured out a way to get his horse to give in. He had tied some rope onto a halter like a pair of reins, put it on the colt's head and hopped onto his back. Hero had taken off already and with his rodeo training, Wyatt maintained his seat. Hero had bucked once or twice but otherwise hadn't done anything too extreme with the sudden extra weight on his back. That was the initial reaction. Wyatt directed the horse with the makeshift reins and eventually Hero calmed down enough for Wyatt to be able to sit properly on the horse's back. That had been the strangest way Wyatt had ever trained a horse and Hero had actually been his first horse to break in by himself. All the others had been done with his father's help. Ever since then Wyatt had been in charge of breaking in horses. Along the way he'd helped others and all those horses had proved obedient afterwards but still kept their spirit. The worst way to break in a horse was to actually break their spirit. Wyatt never used a stick on these mustangs and he had no damn intention of doing so.

They fall in line
One at a time
Ready to play
(I can't see them anyway)
No time to lose
We've got to move
Steady your helm
(I am losing sight again)

Fire your guns
It's time to run
Blow me away
(I will stay, in the mess I made)
After the fall
We'll shake it off
Show me the way

Only the strongest will survive
Lead me to heaven, when we die
I am the shadow on the wall
I'll be the one to save us all

So there Wyatt was, thinking about his black mustang. Eventually he finished with the soap and cleaned it all off with a damp cloth. That was when he heard the barn door opening and a sudden rush of boots on the wooded floor boards. Wyatt paused with cloth in hand and leaning over the western saddle. Finn appeared in the doorway of the tack room and Wyatt was taken aback. Had he ever seen that kid looking so happy? Not a chance in hell. He was confused until Finn explained what had happened. His face broke out into one of those toothy smiles, which showed when Wyatt himself was at his happiest.

God damn. You're kiddin' me?

Wyatt laughed a little but not at Finn, by his expression he was showing genuine pride at the progress. He could see just how scarred Sweet was when they had initially brought him to Westin. That was long before Finn arrived. Wyatt had struggled to get anywhere near the horse but could not make any progress with the gelding because the horses needed to bond with one person specifically in order to heal. Introducing himself to the horse then adding someone else into the equation wouldn't be ideal for the horse. In fact it would be more stressful. Hearing that Sweet was letting Finn near him was the best news for both the horse and man.

That's the best news we're gonna hear all day.

Wyatt hadn't expressed his pride out loud. It occurred to him and he had to get over his damn queit self and say something if he wanted Finn to find any pride in himself. It was essential to Finn that Wyatt express praise over any progress he made. Sure, he had to force himself to say it out loud because he couldn't presume Finn saw it, but it was always genuine. It was a pat on the back, one that Finn seemed to need.

Proud of ya, Finn. You've been doin' good with that horse.

Wyatt's smile calmed to one that just lifted up at the corners. He had his forearm resting over his knee in one of those casual poses of his. He was glad to see that kind of happiness on Finn's face and was slightly alarmed at the pride he was feeling. He'd only ever felt this proud over one of Katy's acheivements. That was a fatherly proud and inside he was mixed up about how it could feel the same with Finn. Knowing Wyatt he would drag this out and only come to the conclusion that Finn was becoming apart of the family when someone else said it out loud. Sometimes that's just how he could be, stubborn without knowing it.

Why don't ya give him some carrot pieces in his pellets? Remember, you gotta reward him for his progress too.

Wyatt gave Finn the suggestion and notioned towards the plastic bin holding the pellets, with the scoop sitting on top of the horse's breakfast pile.

He'll know its from you.

[Finn Keagan]

Finn had never been able to have a horse to bond to. In fact, he had never had an animal to bond to. Looking at the people on this ranch sometimes made him jealous. Wyatt had Hero and obviously most of the horses, and he also had Gunner. Katy had her horses and Gunner as well, and above all, she had two parents that loved her. And then there was Lily. Even though Lily was sick, she wasn’t afraid to love unconditionally. She wasn’t afraid to get attached even though she could leave at any moment because of the cancer. But she bonded with Flyer, and she had her dog, Noah. Finn just didn’t understand how these people could get attached so easily. They had faced hardships in their life, but they moved on from it, and they loved more because of it seemed. Finn just didn’t understand. He had been hurt by his father, and even a little by his mother. He didn’t blame the woman for what happened at all because she couldn’t help it. But she had left him.

She had left him alone with the crazy lunatic that had become his father. He would never blame her for all of his beatings, because there was no way that it was her fault. She had fought as hard as she could against the disease that had eaten away at her, and he couldn’t ask her for anything else. She had been there for him when no one else had been, and he would be forever grateful. But he wished, rather selfishly, that she could be here with him, and for him. Then he wouldn’t be a burden to the Parker family. Then he wouldn’t have to worry about leaving Love Me Sweet when his time was up here because he would have never come here. Finn was just entirely confused. He didn’t know what to think anymore, and he didn’t like that. He wanted his mother, and he also wanted to talk about what had happened to him. He had never really opened up to anyone about that night, or about his mother and father as people. For some reason, he felt that need stronger than ever now.

Sighing softly, Finn just studied Sweet for a moment, until the gelding let him touch him. It was then that Finn was instilled with hope. There could be hope in his life. If Sweet could trust again after what happened to him, then why couldn’t Finn? If an animal was willing to be near humans again after what it had suffered through, than Finn had to be as strong as Sweet was. That was why he had run off to find Wyatt. Wyatt would be the one to show the most emotion, even though the boy had no idea. It only took him minutes to find the man in the tack room, and elation was radiating off of Finn. He hadn’t been this happy in a long time, and it was a nice change. His face no longer held that scared look that it usually did. It was wiped completely from his features, and it was a relieving change. It showed that there was hope that this program could really work. If Finn felt this much joy from just touching the horse once, then it was obvious that something was working. Finn didn’t even pause to take a breath as he launched into his explanation to Wyatt. And he waited excitedly for the man’s reply. As Wyatt did, Finn’s smile only grew, if that was at all possible.

”I swear. Right after you left, he came up to me and I put my hand out. He didn’t move away, so I touched him. He backed off after that, but that’s still something, right?”

He questioned hopefully, his sea green eyes locked on Wyatt’s. He was actually making eye contact with the man as well. That was something that he hadn’t done since day one. Finn would never meet Wyatt’s eyes, or any other man’s for that matter. He never looked at Billy or Carl full in the face, but he was always watching them warily. He couldn’t help himself. But all of that wariness seemed forgotten as it was replaced with the utmost joy and happiness. He didn’t feel pride because he had never known the emotion in his life. But the positive emotions were enough to get him through the day. Taking a deep breath to regain himself, he exhaled slowly and kept listening to Wyatt as he spoke about what he thought about Finn and Sweet. And then he said it. Wyatt said that he was proud of him. Finn’s face became slightly surprised, and held question. He watched the man across from him for a moment, and seemed to be figuring something out in his head. Furrowing his brow, he just stared for a moment before he was able to push out the words.

”Really?”

His own father had never said that to him. Finn had never heard that expression in his life from anyone but his mother. And that was just before she died. It filled him with memories of the woman, and he did his best to push them away. Now was just not the time. Later tonight when he was trying to fall asleep, he knew he would think of her, but that was fine with him. He watched Wyatt for another moment, trying to figure out what had just happened. He never thought that he would hear those words. But Wyatt’s next statement pulled Finn from his shock. Still giving Wyatt a look, he nodded with a small smile.

”Right. You think he’ll really know?”

He questioned, reaching for the bag of carrots and looked for Sweet’s bucket of pellets. Finding it without much problem, he broke up two sizeable carrots and tossed them in the bucket. He made sure he put it back in it’s rightful place, and then turned to Wyatt. Well, it was now or never really. He stood silently for a moment, and then looked to the man across from him. Finn trusted him. It was a small trust, but it was trust all the same, and it meant a lot coming from the young man. Biting his lower lip, he tried to figure out what to say. He wondered if he should just get it off of his chest. It would be easier than anything else. Looking down for another moment, he finally brought his timid gaze up and found Wyatt’s eyes. Yet again he was making eye contact. It showed just how much of an improvement he was making.

”Wyatt…do you think I’ll ever be good for anything? My father always told me I wouldn’t ever be. And my mother, well…she never said it, but she never really had the chance. I just…I don’t feel good enough, ever.”

There. He had said it. He had gotten it off of his chest. He felt ten times better, but now he was just nervous for the answer. He didn’t want to sound selfish, or like he wanted pity, because he didn’t. But he needed a little reassurance in his life. He stepped back, like he was about to run in case he got in trouble and something bad was about to happen. Wyatt had never raised a hand to hurt him, but Finn never knew. He waited now, wondering what would happen, or if he had crossed a line.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 668
Status: Complete - sorry I feel real nauseous all of a sudden x.x
Lyrics: N/A

You kiddin' me? I can't even walk near that horse's paddock but look at you. You're sittin' in his pen an' next thing he's waltzin' up and lettin' you touch him.

Wyatt had nearly looked back down to return to his work but Finn caught his eye before he had a chance. Those sea green eyes were far more piercing looking straight at them, nothing like the timid glow that Wyatt could see when Finn avoided his eyes at all costs. He'd been unable to help himself at looking because Wyatt always looked a person in the eye. It was a sign of respect but he knew for Finn that it meant something entirely different. Looking the older man in the eyes meant a challenge, and in Finn's case he'd lost more of those challenges than anything else. So taking this moment Wyatt offered him a kinder eye than what he'd been used to for a long, long time.

For a while after Wyatt had come out that he was proud of the young man, Finn seemed to consider what he had said. He couldn't imagine it a very hard thing to digest but then again, his father had been one of the better ones. He still admired his old man even now that he was six feet under. He had to say that he missed the quick lines he'd shoot back at Wyatt if his son got anywhere out of line. He'd have to give his father's grave a visit sooner or later and the thought made him feel...what? A bit of sadness admittedly but he was also fond of the memory so Wyatt didn't let it get the better of him.

I don't say somethin' I don't mean.

Finn's shock seemed to subside as he went about cutting up carrots and mixing it up with Sweet's pellets. Wyatt had returned to his work of removing the soap that had dried on the saddle. He had to rub it a bit but the soap came off clean and the saddle looked a heck of a lot better for it. Wyatt's hand traced over parts of the saddle that had worn off a bit but all considered, it was in good shape. He picked up the polish and set it on his knee once the little tin was opened. He picked up another cloth and began to work the polish into the leather with rough but effective circles. He was working hard at giving the saddle a good old clean up and was preoccupied with it until the silence around him seemed unusual. He hadn't heard Finn since the kid had gone off to fix up Sweet's breakfast. It was then that he realised Finn had been standing there all along. Wyatt stopped his work for a moment to look across at the young man. Again he seemed to be milling over something in his mind and he looked up again, catching Wyatt's stare from across the room. He spoke up about what was on his mind and again Wyatt was considering what the poor boy's life must have been like.

You tell me if what you did today with Sweet wasn't good enough.

Wyatt let the silence hang in the air before he sighed and stayed just where he was, not towering over Finn or proving any kind of threat. By sitting there he thought he might present no threat to Finn, because the kid was already backing away.

You didn't feel enough where you were before, and the whole reason for coming down here is to feel somethin' of yourself again. You're worth somethin' you don't recognize now but just you wait for that moment when Sweet comes to you next. You felt like something today when he let you reach out and touch him. If that was good enough for you then its good enough for me. You set the bar for yourself and you be proud of what you do. That's being good enough.

[Finn Keagan]

Finnegan didn't know what to say to any of Wyatt's comments. He was almost too shocked to respond. He had never been given such kind words, and the young man just didn't know how to handle it. As Wyatt cleaned his saddle, Finn watched his movements. He wasn't threatening in anyway and the calm air around Wyatt relaxed Finn. The young man stood for another moment and then stepped back after Wyatt's last statement. He really had no idea what to think or how to handle this situation. He was more than thankful, but he was a bit wary as well. His father had been night right before he had hurt him. Studying Wyatt for another moment, he finally forced himself to speak. At home, if he hadn't spoken or responded to his father, he would just pay for it later. It was a lose lose situation for Finn at home. But this was different. He just needed to accept that. Wyatt wasn't going to lay a hand on him. He just needed to relax and understand that this wasn't going to be so bad. Taking a deep breath, he exhaled softly and then spoke up.

"Thank you. I mean it. No one's ever been...this nice? Or honest. I appreciate it. And I appreciated everything that you and Lily have done for me. I know it can't be easy for you both either."

The young man finished quietly. He wasn't trying to be rude. He wanted Wyatt to know how thankful he was. The man had problems of his own with Lily being so sick, and it couldn't be easy running the ranch. He knew the TTI program was no walk in the park either. The young man stood for another moment and then figured he needed to find something to do for the rest of the day. His excitement had died down a bit, but it was obvious he was still in a good mood. He was making progress with Sweet, and that was what made his day. He tried hiding the small smile that crept up onto his timid features as he thought about the gelding. He was making a difference in Love Me Sweet's life. He was glad that he could help the gelding know what kindness was. Finn spoke up again.

"I'm going to make sure Sweet doesn't need water."

He explained easily enough. Finn was in full care of Sweet. That meant that the ranch hands really had nothing to do with the gelding. It wasn't like they could get close to him in the first place, but the point of the program was to teach. They wouldn't learn anything if they didn't need to care for the horse. Besides, in this way, Sweet would learn to depend and trust in Finn and Finn alone. The young man was alright with that. Turning on his heel, he offered Wyatt a small smile of thanks and then hurried forward, trying to make sense of all that the man had said. He had been so friendly, and so nice, and Finn just wasn't used to that. Furrowing his brow, he thought about what he had said. He had seemed honest and genuinely proud? Finn had never known those emotions in his life. He shook his head slightly and exited the barn, hurrying down to Sweet's pasture. He found the gelding rolling in the slight snow that had fallen upon the ground. That was weird. Sweet never rolled. It didn't seem like the gelding had liked it.

Finn whistled shortly, and saw Sweet look up. His expression was dull and slightly pained, his ears off to the side of his head. Finn studied him another moment, and his brow furrowed as he saw the gelding look back at his stomach, biting at it. Oh no. Finn knew these signs. He had seen them some times at the old stable he worked at. What could he do? He needed to get Wyatt, but he didn't want to scare the gelding. Sweet was looking towards Finn with a helpless expression upon his face, and Finn decided to check on him first. If he could get him up and walking to the barn, they might have a chance. Taking hold of the lead line outside of the pasture, he hopped the fence in one easy climb. That was becoming easier for him, even with his healing wrist. He walked as quickly but as quietly as he could to the palomino, but Sweet didn't move. The gelding wanted the comfort of the one person he had come to trust.

Finn reached him and kneeled beside him, looking the golden body over in slight horror. He looked bloated. Looking at Sweet's eyes, Finn gently put his hand on the palomino's side. Leaning forward when Sweet didn't object, he put his ear to the horse's abdomen. His stomach wasn't making any noises, and that was never a good sign. Finn pulled away slowly and went to Sweet's head, watching as the gelding put his head in his hands. He couldn't lose the horse. He was the only one he trusted fully. Finn thought quickly and then clipped the lead to Sweet's halter. He had to get up. There was no questioning it.

"Come on Sweet. Trust me, you need to stand. We need to walk. Come on boy, get up. Up, up."

He finished, pulling slightly at the halter. Sweet groaned in protest but heaved himself upwards. That was a good sign. Finn brought him slowly to the gate, asking him to walk slowly but surely to the exit of the pasture. It would be better for him inside of the barn anyway. Closing the gate behind them both, Finn kept them both walking until they reached the barn entrance. Sweet hesitated, but he was too sick to put up much of a fight, and Finn's encouraging words helped him power forward. They stepped into the aisle, and Finn's unshod hooves clopped on the footing. Finn had to call out to Wyatt, and he hoped he wouldn't scare Sweet.

"Wyatt! Wyatt, quick! Sweet needs help! He's colicing!"

The young man got out, and was still leading the gelding forward. He brought him outside of the tack room, hoping against all hope that Wyatt was still here. What were they going to do? Finn couldn't lose Sweet. He stood in front of the gelding and was shocked when Sweet pushed his head into Finn. He stood there, leaning into the young man, wanting relief from the pain that he was in. Finn knew that they had to keep him up and from rolling. He also knew that they couldn't walk him for too long because it would weaken the gelding and make it harder for him to fight this. Finn didn't know what to do, and was counting on Wyatt for his expertise. It just surprised Finn that Sweet was leaning into him the way he was. The horse's eyes were almost closed, and he looked at ease despite the pain. Finn looked to Wyatt, not knowing what to do.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 828
Status: Complete
Lyrics: N/A

Finn was quiet for a long time and Wyatt had no idea how he was digesting the response. Wyatt always had words even if by nature he was generally quiet. He was never sure if what he said helped but thus far he seemed to have it right more or less. He supposed that because he was always afraid of saying the wrong things that it made him strive to be better at it. Wyatt watched Finn when finally the kid responded. He smiled at Finn once he was finished but could guess that he was also uncomfortable. For Wyatt it was because he wasn't used to these kinds of exchanges with a young man. His father had always been the one to give Wyatt guidance and with his old man gone, it was now Wyatt's turn.

Sure.

Wyatt had still not continued on with his work, instead watching Finn leave to get his breathing space. He couldn't guess that this transition was easy. Spending years being abused and then suddenly shoved on a ranch with people that cared? To Finn this was all wrong. Where were the beatings? Were they proud or faking it? Why does no one insult you every day? Why am I starting to feel like something? Those words were alien to Wyatt because frankly, he had never had to experience that kind of situation. So he had to give Finn all the credit in the world for the way he had met Wyatt's eyes today.

Wyatt was quiet after their exchange and he was sitting in place, looking down but at the same time looking nowhere. He didn't see what he was looking at because the thoughts tumbling around in his mind didn't allow him to see. Lily had gotten under his skin after talking about Finn and he had no idea how to feel really. Everything was coming so fast and hitting him right in the chest. Wyatt knew it was about time he went for one of his rides.

Wyatt finished up the saddle and left it to dry, going on over to the sink and washing his hands after packing everything into its rightful place. It was still quiet when he heard hooves on the wooden floor boards. Wyatt frowned, since it wouldn't be a little while longer before any of the ranch hands were awake to lead horses out. Before he reached the door he heard Finn call out to him. Wyatt's heart dropped when he left the sink to get to the doorway. Sure enough there was Finn standing with Love Me Sweet. The horse was leaning into the kid and not looking at all comfortable. Wyatt had very rarely seen a colicing horse at his ranch and treated it twice. Both times he had needed the help of a vet but then again they had caught signs of it early enough.

Was he rolling?

Wyatt asked Finn, tenderly approaching Sweet but preparing for those teeth of his to find him. A colicing horse would be more protective although weak and Wyatt could not treat him just like any other horse. The horse would be more prone to lashing out if Wyatt tried to feel any part of the horse's stomach to further analyse the ailment.

Take him out and walk him. I know he's in pain but it'll help us know what kind of colic it is. He trusts you, Finn. I'm phoning the vet and don't let him roll.

Wyatt quickly left to dash back into the tackroom again. He had a phone installed there for emergencies like this when running to the house was not an option. He dialled the number and was put through to the vet's secretary.

Ruth? Its Wyatt. I've got a colicing horse at the ranch.

He could hear the sudden panic in her voice.

"I'll get him out of the consulting room."

It was only a few brief moments before Dr. Scott's voice came through on the line.

"Was he rolling?"

Yes. He's only just been walked up from the paddock but I've got Finn walkin' him now. It must've happened in the last twenty minutes.

"I'll make it in twenty minutes with the oils. Remember only keep him walking for fifteen minutes then take him into his stall."

Wyatt remembered the procedure from the last horses that Wyatt had seen with colic. After a brief good bye exchange he hung up the telephone and headed out to find Finn and Sweet. He kept his approach easy and allowed Sweet the space to be with Finn. He knew that colicing horses were in pain and a horse in pain would lash out. Sweet had been abused and that was not going to make this any easier. The vet would have to hands on and Wyatt figured that would only be a fight unless Sweet was too weak at this point.

Finn? How's he doin'?

Wyatt called out, watching Sweet's movements.

[Finn Keagan]

Finn's heart was beating rapidly because of his worry. He hadn't felt like this since the last beating with his father. His heart had been in overdrive in those moments as well, and Finn wondered if he just couldn't deal with the stress of the situation. The therapist that he had been forced to see those couple of times had wanted to prescribe him something for panic attacks, but Finn had refused. Now he almost wished he had something to control the trembles that were overtaking his body. But he needed to be strong. Sweet needed him, and he couldn't abandon the palomino gelding as they both had been abandoned in the past. He would never let Sweet felt that sense of loneliness again. Taking a deep breath, he exhaled and steadied himself, his wild eyes looking over as Wyatt appeared in the tack room door. Finn was scared stiff. The only time he had seen colic in the barn at home was when the horse didn't pull through. Finn would be devastated, crushed even, if this horse didn't pull through. Hearing Wyatt's question, Finn nodded.

"He was rolling when I found him. I listened to his stomach, and there aren't any noises whatsoever. He's so uncomfortable."

He finished worriedly, looking to Wyatt for guidance. Finn had worked with horses before, but he had only seen colic once. Sure, he had read about what to do and had talked to the vet at the old barn. But that wasn't the same as living through it. He knew he had to keep Sweet walking, but he also couldn't overdo it or Sweet would be too weak to keep fighting. The most important thing was that he couldn't let the gelding roll. If he rolled, there was a chance he would twist his intestines, and they would eventually rupture, killing him. Finn couldn't and wouldn't let that happen. He had to be there for Love Me Sweet, and the horse had to try as well. They wouldn't be able to do this without the other one, and they surely wouldn't get through it without Wyatt. Finn steadied himself after a flurry of fear passed through him yet again. He could not survive losing another being in his life. It didn't matter that Sweet was a horse. He still meant more to Finn than anything. Their bond was growing, and Finn couldn't give up on him now. He would never give up on him.

Hurry...please."

He pleaded with Wyatt, looking after the man as he hurried to call the vet. Finn didn't want to be left alone with Sweet. He didn't feel as if he was adequate to care for him. However, as Sweet leaned into Finn, Finn slowly hugged the gelding's head to his chest. Oh, he had to make it through this. Finn stood for another moment, looking down at the palomino's head in his arms. For Sweet to be this close to him willingly, Finn knew he had to be feeling really bad. The young man took a deep breath and exhaled, then spoke softly, in a whisper, to the gelding.

"You're gonna be alright, boy. You'll see. Wyatt will help you through this. And I'm right here. I won't leave you Sweet."

He finished, but felt that it was foolish. He gave Sweet's head a rub and then stepped back. Love Me Sweet stepped after Finn as the boy led him outside. There was more room in the front of the barn for him to walk out, and the fresh air couldn't be bad for him. The pair walked back and forth for a little while, and Finn felt like he was counting the seconds until he saw Wyatt come out of the barn. Hopefully the vet was on his way. Hearing Wyatt's question, Finn just shook his head. He kept Sweet walking, and looked back at the gelding. His face looked miserable, and his ears were drooping.

"He's really uncomfortable."

Finn stated, not sure what else to do. He didn't want to lose this horse. He couldn't lose this horse. He walked Sweet closer to Wyatt, but found that it made the horse more uncomfortable. He had to remember that Sweet had been abused and it was still difficult for him to trust. But what if he didn't let the vet near him? What would they do then? Finn's worried eyes found Wyatt's, and he voiced his fears. It was a sign that Finn's trust was laid upon Wyatt, for Finn didn't trust his deepest feelings with anyone.

"What if he doesn't let the vet near him? How will he make it without the vet?"

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 712
Status: Complete
Lyrics: N/A

Wyatt pulled his fingers through his hair and then laced his hands, holding them behind his head as he stood watching the palomino. Finn was looking towards him but his eyes only met Finn's after a few moments. Once again his expression was pensive. He had only taken those few minutes to stand still and think things through. He needed a plan, something that expected the unexpected and ensured the health of this horse...Finn's horse.

The vet's a trained man. If need be he'll have tranquilizers on hand that he can use. He works with the BLM so he knows all 'bout horses that don't wanna be handled.

Wyatt knew the vet well from the countless times that he had had to call the professional out here. There was only so much that Wyatt could do with home-based treatments. Once before they had used a massaging technique to help ease a horse's abdomen, relieving them of some of the stress on their intestines.

He said twenty minutes and maximum we can walk Sweet is fifteen. We'll have our timin' right.

Wyatt was calm but at the same time a frown wrinkled his forehead and his eyes were darker than what they usually were. When next he found Finn's pleading eyes his expression softened somewhat.

He's dependin' on you. You're gonna carry 'im through this and I know he can trust you. Me bein' near 'im is only gonna 'cause more stress. So talk to him, stroke his neck, anything you need to do to put him at ease.

Wyatt offered his help but honestly, he felt just as helpless. In all his twenty seven years of dealing with horses he had only come across a few cases of colic. His experience was so little that he hardly knew what to do and it was that, that he could share with Finn. Wyatt dropped his arms at his sides but he still hadn't broken his gaze from Finn's face.

You're doin' good. Don't doubt yourself.

Wyatt reassured him, quite sure that he had never strung this many sentences together before in sequence. Wyatt was a quiet man but as of late his experiences with new people and the return of others was breaking his quiet streak. He didn't much like saying a lot but at the same time he felt like he said nothing at all at other times. Before Wyatt had been comfortable with that but now he seemed to be going through some sort of change.

Daylight had fallen over the Arizona scenery and casting a glitter off of the snow that had fallen on the ground. From the stable Wyatt heard a horse call out, another answering and then a few more fussings before things quietened down. From the bunker he heard the door open and slam shut. It was Billy who was walking out in his boots to head off for his morning duties. However he faltered in his step as he looked up to see the usually estranged palomino being led on a halter.

"An' what in god's name is goin' on 'ere?"

Colic. Scott's on his way but until then we gotta handle this on our own.

Billy's eyes moved from Sweet to Finn then to Wyatt.

"Ya serious? Damn, he ain't lookin' so hot, Wyatt."

Wyatt rubbed his jaw.

Go give the horses their feed. No use in wastin' your time standin' out 'ere.

Billy knew that voice and immediately set off, giving Sweet a wide berth instead of crowding him and jogged off into the barn to fetch the bucket of feed. Wyatt's attention again focused on the road and this time for good reason. In the distance he could see a white van headed up the tarred road that led in straight from town.

C'mon, let's get Sweet in a stall. Think you can manage?

The barn accomodated a few extra stalls in case the stables was overbooked, and they also made for good quarantine if ever a horse was sick. There was already a stall filled with bedding and Wyatt took a step aside to allow Finn the space to lead Sweet.

Keep 'im calm. He ain't gonna take well to bein' indoors but he's gotta get in there. Talk 'im through it.