i love you til the end - Lily

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 887
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Feelin' Way Too Damn Good by Nickelback

The Arizona air was icy and Hero's breath was cloudy as the stallion breathed out. It was a few weeks into winter now and Wyatt was forced to wear a thick jersey beneath his father's old and worn jacket.

Come on now.

Wyatt scolded his horse who had tucked his chin into his chest, prancing forwards on the tip of his hooves with excitement. It was a fresh new day and light weas only now beginning to fall across the desert-like plain. There were patches of white on the ground where the first snow had fallen. That had been the previous night and soon Wyatt would have to leave the horses in their stables overnight. They were fine with their blankets at the moment but soon thick layers of snow would cover the ground over at Silver Stag Ranch.

Wyatt had been out on his usual morning ride before anyone at the house was awake. Every morning he went out and checked on the grounds available to the cattle who were finding less and less grass to graze on. Soon they would have to bring them in for the winter and that would be a huge task. It meant leaving Lily for a few days which did not make Wyatt comfortable at all. He might have to give this one a miss but on the positive side it meant that the younger ranch hands would get more experience. He rubbed the back of his neck, resting his hand on the horn of the saddle as he neared the ranch. Hero threw up his head and whinnied into the distance. There was no reply for a minute or two then a sudden frenzy of barking came from the ranch. Wyatt had to strain his eyes to see where the hell Gunner was. The ranch dog burst out of the house through the little flap and ran flat out towards Wyatt and Hero. Hero's nostrils flared and his ears perked forwards. Beneath him his horse tensed as Gunner tore up ground to reach them. Hero threw out his foreleg towards Gunner but the dog missed the hoof, yapping excitedly then running circles around the Kiger Mustang as they walked past the paddocks and into the main yard.

I missed you so much
That I begged you to fly and see me
You must've broke down
Coz you finally said that would
But now that you're here
I just feel like I'm constantly dreaming

Coz something's gotta go wrong
Coz I'm feelin' way to damn good

For 48 hours I don't think that we left my hotel room
Should show you the sights
Coz I'm sure that I said that I would
We gotta make love just one last time in the shower

In the paddocks a few of the horses turned their heads to watch as they walked past the paddocks. They showed mild interest then turned their heads back, lazily closing their eyes. Wyatt looked up at the ranch house which lay dead ahead. It looked rather quiet inside. They were a few weeks into Lily's treatment at the hospital and Wyatt had given her as much support as was humanly possible. He had the responsibility of looking after the ranch, dealing with the TTI programme as well as frequent visits to the hospital. The ranch hands had been a great help but on his own Wyatt was managing fairly well. Never once did he complain. He seemed to have inherited that from his father who had constantly had to juggle his responsibilities.

Wyatt approached the tying pole and swung off of Hero's back. He landed on the ground with a thud with his boots, pulling the reins over Hero's head and tying them onto the pole. Hero backed away from the pole, tugging on the rein and then eyeing Wyatt.

What are ya doin' now?

Wyatt shook his head and patted his horse on the neck, undoing the tack and setting it down on the pole. He untied the reins and led Hero towards his paddock. The stallion followed en suite, curiously looking around the yard with his tail held high. He acted like the lead stallion, which might be true if it weren't for that wild Nokota stallion of Lily's. The stallion was a threat in Hero's eyes and the two had to be kept very far apart. Hero bumped Wyatt on the back with his muzzle, pushing him along to hurry on over to his paddock.

Watch it.

Wyatt warned although despite his voice a smile perked up the corners of his mouth. Eventually Wyatt was walking away with Hero running around wildly in his paddock. The stallion bucked and reared and spun and neighed. It felt like a typical morning here at Silver Stag.

Wyatt walked back to the house and finally realized that Gunner had disappeared without a word. When he walked through the door a lazy smile spread across his lips. Katy was bent over Gunner who was rolling around on the floor, burying his face into the carpet and sneezing loudly. Katy was scratching the white fluff on his stomach, squealing with delight.

Mornin' sweetheart.

Wyatt removed his hat and put it up on the rack.

"Daddy!"

Katy turned around and ran straight into his legs, wrapping her arms around what she could and then stretching her arms out to be picked up. Wyatt bent down and collected her into his arms, pulling her up and onto his hip.

How'd ya sleep?

"I was out like a light!"

Katy spoke in a high pitched voice, obviously awake and ready to go. Wyatt knew he was in for a busy day with Katy running around after him when they went about doing chores.

Is mom awake yet?

He asked, tucking messing locks of hair behind Katy's ear.

[Lily Parker]

It hadn't been an easy few weeks. The surgery had gone wonderfully, but the chemo and the treatments afterwards were awful. She wished she could go through the surgery ten more times instead of going through chemo. She was losing her hair, and that was an embarrassment to her. She was losing even more weight, which didn't settle with her well. The young woman was paler than ever before, and that constrasted sharply with the dark circles beneath her eyes. But none of that mattered. What mattered was that despite all of that, she was happy. She might be sick, but she was with the man she loved again, and with the daughter that meant the world to her. She never wanted to leave them, and they were the two things that kept her living and fighting as hard as she did. The doctors had a positive outlook on this cancer. Lily was responding well. She was responding better than everyone ever thought she was.

Lily was more than ecstatic when they had made that announcement yesterday after that visit. She was so happy that she almost cried, and probably would have if Wyatt hadn't been there. The relief and the hope that she had felt during that statement had breathed new life within her. She went to bed happy, and she hadn't had nightmares last night. It was one of the very few nights that she had slept soundly. So now as she laid in bed, curled up into a ball, she couldn't help but smile. She might be thin and balding, but she was going to live. Hair grew back, and she always looked good in hats. She could make it through this because she was going to live, and that was all that mattered. Taking a deep breath, she looked over to her australian shepherd, who was curled up against her stomach. Lily loved Noah to pieces, and was glad that the dog was welcomed here. She didn't know what she would do without him. He began nudging her with his nose as he heard the noises below, and Lily smiled when she heard her daughter's high-pitched voice followed by Wyatt's deep, comforting one. And her heartbeat increased.

She could face the day with that happiness in her family members. Slowly sitting up, she made sure she wasn't dizzy before standing. Gaining back her balance, she stood up and made her way to the dresser. Pulling a pair of her old jeans out, she grabbed a beige long sleeved thermal and dressed for the day. She was always freezing, especially now. Pulling the warm thermal on, she reached for one of her favorite flannels that belonged to Wyatt. It was huge, but she loved it, and took comfort from his smell. Pulling the blue plaid shirt on, she wrapped it around her thin frame and then took ahold of a blue hankerchief. Pulling up what was left of her blonde hair, she hid the bald spots with the hankerchief. Well, she wasn't stylish, but she was warm. Smiling to herself, she shoved her feet into her cowboy boots and hurried down the stairs. Coming to a halt in the doorway, she smiled as she watched father and daughter. Hearing Wyatt's words, Lily grinned and stepped forward.

"Finally, I am. Katy let me oversleep."

She said with a playful look to their daughter. She was sad she couldn't pick her up anymore, but she would never be able to hold her. Sighing to herself, she stepped forward and went to Katy and Wyatt. She wanted to wrap her arms around her husband, but seeing him and their daughter lit up her grey blue eyes. This was her heaven.

"Good morning you two."

Lily managed happily and then stepped to the coffee maker. There was hot coffee brewing, and Lily had to thank her husband for that. Grabbing one of her favorite old mugs, she filled up a cup and loaded it with cream and sugar. She always got made fun of because of that. Leaning back against the counter, she held the cup close to her face because it was so warm, and then looked pointedly at Wyatt. He would know what she wanted to do because she had been asking ever since she got home from the hospital. She wanted to see Flyer. She hadn't seen the Nokota stallion since she came home. Her eyes pleaded with him over the rim of her mug, and she couldn't help but smile even though he was probably going to refuse her. She was feeling so much better today, and there was slight color in her cheeks this morning, and not from fever. Waiting for his response, she felt Noah press up against her leg. They waited, both of them almost begging.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 719
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Get Me Through by Daughtry

Katy had barely had the chance to answer when Lily's voice floated towards the pair. They both turned their heads towards the door and Katy began to wriggle in her father's arms. She badly wanted to be held by her mother but Wyatt had had a talk with her whilst Lily was in surgery. He had explained that life was going to be a bit rough over the next few months and Katy took it rather well considering her tender age. She had Lily's will and for that Wyatt was grateful. Despite leaving, when Lily came back she breathed new life into the ranch. Everyone knew it and they all appreciated it. Wyatt too. He had given her a hard time when she arrived but with all that he hadn't been able to bring himself to stop loving her.

"Daddy."

Katy moaned, wriggling some more until Wyatt finally conceded to let her down. Their little girl ran over to Lily and grabbed a hold of her leg, craning her head back to look at her mother with a big smile.

"Doesn't mommy look pwetty?"

Wyatt was still standing by the door and now with his hands in his jeans pockets. His head was tilted to one side whilst he looked on at mother and daughter. His heart was swelling in his chest with pride, smiling on the inside as he recognised his flannel shirt.

That she does, darlin'.

Finally Wyatt crossed the room to reach Lily. Katy had become preoccupied with Gunner again, and was soon joined by Noah. With their daughter running into the sitting room laughing loudly, it gave Wyatt a moment alone with the woman he loved. She was peering at him over her mug filled with steaming coffee. He smiled down at her as he laid his hands on her hips. She was thinner than she had ever been before and she always covered her head with a hat or a bandana like she was just then. Wyatt could understand and had never stared or made her feel like there was something wrong with her. He just wanted to make her feel loved and to be loved in return.

Mornin' Lil.

Cry out all who care to know
I’ve been hollow way too long
I know where I’m going wrong
There’s nothing I can do
I believe you can get me through
Nothing else will do
I believe you can get me through
So can you stop the bleeding?
Get me through…

Color blind I paint your blue sky grey
But this time you’ll shed some light on me
Just before I fade away
There’s nothing I can do
I believe you can get me through
Nothing else will do
I believe you can get me through

He was beginning to recognize that doe-eyed look she was giving him and his forehead pulled together in a frown. It was one she probably recognised by now too. He had said no to her so many times and it had pulled at his heart every time. Back then it would have comprimised her health. After all chemo and radiation killed all of her defenses, and now she had been given new hope after their visit with the doctor yesterday. Lily was responding well to the treatment and that night Wyatt had laid in bed with Lily, his arms wrapped tenderly around her with his lips buried into her neck. Lily in turn had held Katy and together they had shared something many other families had around the world. All those other cancer patients knew what they were going through - a kind of new start for a broken family. It had been one of the best experiences they had had in a long time.

Only for a few minutes.

Wyatt eyed her, looking rather nervous as his eyes broke away from hers, looking out the kitchen window. Flyer's paddock was on the other side of the barn, out of view. The stallion had been some trouble whilst Lily had been laid up and it was hard to get his co-operation. Wyatt had been with the stallion often and had not been very welcome. He wondered if the Nokota stallion would remember Lily. He probably would. Those two shared something between them that Wyatt had only begun to grasp.

And ya gotta take my jacket.

Wyatt took a step back and shrugged the jacket off of his shoulders. It was lined with wool and would protect Lily from the iciness in the early morning air. Underneath the jacket Wyatt was wearing a thick greyish jersey. It hardly looked like anything fancy but it did the job it had been made for. Wyatt laid his father's old jacket on the counter. His father had always liked Lily. Wyatt kissed Lily's forehead, giving her arm a squeeze.

I think Flyer's gonna be glad to see ya.

[Lily Parker]

Lily was sorry that she had ever left this place. She had been weak, and she had been selfish. That Lily was no more though. She was stronger than she had ever been, and her will was made of steel. Sometimes she faltered, especially in the first few days of chemo. It had made her physically sick, but Wyatt had never left her side. He had been with her through it all, and Lily was more thankful than she could say. To have left a man like that was the worst mistake of her life and she regretted it with every breath she took. But now it was different. She was back, and she was accepted. Wyatt hadn't been too keen on the idea of her return at first, and she had struggled to show him her worth again. However this sickness had put that on hold, or maybe it had pushed them in the right direction. Wyatt had realized how much he loved her that night by the campfire, and Lily had realized how much she truly cared for him that night. She was afraid of dying. She was frightened of leaving this new life that was beginning to unfold right in front of her.

Taking a deep breath, she exhaled softly and then looked to the father daughter pair. They were her world. She couldn't help but smile when she looked at their closeness. Wyatt had been there for Katy when Lily had left. The two were close, and Lily couldn't be happier. She hadn't though Lily would accept her when she came back, but the girl had shown her mother's heart. She had forgiven, which Lily was extremely grateful for. She was just happy to be back in this life. Sighing to herself, she grinned as Wyatt set Katy down and the little girl came running over to her. She looked down as Katy clung to her leg and then bent down on one knee to be next to her. Wrapping her arms around her daughter, she kissed the top of her head and held on for another moment, closing her eyes before letting go. Opening them once more she pulled away as she heard the girl's words. Smiling she laughed slightly and looked to Wyatt as he said that she looked pretty. Her face lit up, and she looked up at him with adoring eyes. Giving Katy another squeeze, she straightened with some help from the counter to brace her and then had stepped to the coffee maker as Katy ran off with Gunner and Noah.

"You think this is pretty?"

She said with a small life and a touch of her hand to her hankerchief. But that was Wyatt for her. He never judged, and he never spoke about her appearance. Lily was grateful. As he stepped towards her, she placed her mug down on the counter behind her and looked up at him. Feeling his hands on her hips, Lily gently placed her hands up on his shoulders. Her eyes found his, and she saw that familiar frown lacing his brow. She knew he worried about her going outside, but she thought the fresh air would do her some good. It was clean, healthy air and she craved it. Keeping Lily away from the barn had been no easy task. She had listened only because she had wanted to survive. But the doctor's words and the moment she had shared with her family last night had given her new hope and the new want to go outside. She willed to see Flyer because she knew he wasn't doing well without her there. The stallion was worried because he had sensed her sickness and now didn't know what had become of the only person who had given him a second chance at the BML. Lily needed to see her horse just as much as he needed to see her. Looking at Wyatt, she held her breath as she saw him struggling with his thoughts.

And then he said it. Her heart skipped a beat and she couldn't help herself. Throwing her arms around him in a hug, she kissed his lips softly, the smile reaching her eyes as she pulled away. She studied him as his eyes wandered to the window, and she knew he was juding the distance between Flyer's pen and the house. She would be fine. Watching him step back, she saw him shrug off his jacket and heard him speak. She didn't mind if that got her outside. She pulled his jacket on, and it made her look even smaller because of the size difference between them. SHe didn't care. It smelled like him, and horses, and just outside. She made sure it was done up and then held it around her. She was ready. Taking Wyatt's hand, she started pulling him outside.

"How is he? Does he look ok? Has he been good?"

Her questions flew out of her mouth, and her excitement was obvious. By now she had taken hold of his elbow to support herself. She didn't want to push herself, so she was counting on Wyatt. As they finally reached the round pen, Lily stopped in her tracks. She couldn't help it. The stallion was as wild as he had ever been, and he was now making laps around the pen. Sometimes Lily regretted bringing him in. But he would have been killed at the BML. He hadn't stood a chance with those blood thirsty individuals. But she wanted him to have space to run. She just needed him to be a little quieter. Then she would be able to halter him and turn him out into the stallion pasture reserved for him. As soon as she could halter him and walk him to the field, that was where he was going. She held onto Wyatt now, and whispered her husband's name.

"Oh, Wyatt."

She spoke quietly, but those quiet vocals had reached the stallion. He slammed on the brakes, dirt flying up around him ina c loud of dust. His ears swiveled and his nostrils flared. He turned his head slowly, and his one blue eye and one mahogany one found Lily's form. And his heart leapt with joy. His entire body language changed. He was no longer defensive or aggressive. He laid down his defenses, and sent out a shrilly whinny as she just stood there. Why wasn't she coming over? He pranced from the center of the pen to the rails of the ring, doing his best to shove his head through the tiny spaces between the boards. Lily froze in shock. He still remembered her. Looking to Wyatt, the smile on her face was obvious, but the shock was apparent too. Abandoing Wyatt's arm, she walked slowly to the fence so she wouldn't spook him. And before she really knew what she was doing she was up and over the rails without a second thought. And Flyer didn't even budge. He was nickering and nudging her, looking for some source of treats. She had grabbed a carrot before leaving the house and now offered it to the completely different stallion. He ate it happily, still nickering and making soft sounds. Lily stroked his neck in wonder, and Flyer pressed his nose up against her hand. She was elated, and Flyer couldn't be happier. Lily's day was made.

"You remember me Fly."

The stallion was extremely different. He was gentle and loving to this woman in front of him, and it was a miracle. She never thought he could be gentled. But this was a different side to him. He was even more different than he had been before she had to go to the hospital. She couldn't help but feel proud of what they had accomplished together. She gave him one last pat and a kiss on the nose before heading back to the fence. She was growing a little tired from all that she was doing since she really hadn't done much. Making it over the rails, she gave Flyer one last rub and then made her way to Wyatt. Her heart was warm, and she didn't say anything as she wrapped her arms around her husband and buried her face in his shoulder. This Christmas season was beginning to look up, and she couldn't wait. She wanted to decorate the house and make cookies with Katy, and she couldn't wait to get a tree into their home. Seeig Flyer had given her new strength to fight this and be better. Pulling away from Wyatt a little, she looked up and found his eyes.

"I love you."

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 1192
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Come What May from Moulin Rouge

Before Wyatt even had a chance of thinking about changing his mind he was out the door.

Stay inside, Katy.

He called over his shoulder, looking forwards at Lily as she marched forwards.

Woah, you're gonna wear yourself out before we even get there.

Wyatt thought her efforts were admirable but she had to concede to her restrictions as Lily took a hold of his elbow, depending on him for strength as the two walked onwards to Flyer's paddock.

He hasn't been doing well without ya, Lil. I can't get anywhere near 'im.

Wyatt had forgotten his hat inside the house and the cold bit into his skin through his jersey, but he figured that he'd warm up soon enough when he went about the ranch duties. Wyatt's eyes wandered towards the second pen especially dedicated to the wild horses that often found their way to Silver Stag Ranch. A pretty little bay roan was standing alongside the fencing of her pen. Desert Dancer was owned by Raine Adylin and was far tamer than what Frequent Flyer was. She was munching on some hay hanging off of the posting. Like Flyer she was a rare Nokota that had also found her way to their little remote part of the world. Dancer had become much better with humans, making good process with her owner who had been working with Wyatt. They had discussed breeding the two Nokota's but Dancer was still young and Flyer was too wild. Time would tell how that topic would progress.

The pair had reached Flyer's pen and Lily held tighter onto Wyatt's arm. He looked on as the wild stallion sped in circles around the pen, suddenly coming to a halt in the center. Wyatt's body tensed as he watched the stallion's reaction unfold in front of his eyes. What was the stallion going to do next?

Jesus.

Wyatt spoke under his breath. He was watching in disbelief as Flyer approached the fencing.

Lily!

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather,
And stars may collide
But I love you (I love you)
Until the end of time(until the end of time)

He had called after his wife who left his side without warning to reach the Nokota. He nearly went after her but as soon as he took a step forwards Flyer's body language had told him not to move any farther. Lily was the one he was accepting into his space, not the man who had just been ticking him off the past few weeks. Anxiously he waited, his eyes widening as Lily climbed the fence. She certainly knew how to push Wyatt past his comfort zone. Wyatt had a sense that he was doing something good for Lily but there was something nagging in the back of his head that he should have waited until she truly had her strength back. He worried about her constantly but Lily proved him wrong all the time by being as strong as she was. She came through week after week, no matter how many times the chemo kicked her down.

Now this. She was standing with a horse who had been untouchable before. Now he was welcoming her hand on his neck, accepting every little touch like a stallion who had been raised by humans from birth. This was not the kind of reaction Wyatt had expected and it knocked him clean out of his boots. He was defeated with this horse. Lily just had something that the stallion took to. Then again, she had saved him from the BLM. He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Lily interact with her horse. She had been right to come out here.

A few of the other horses began to frolick in their paddocks, mainly the ranch horses. A breeze flew past Wyatt, making him turn his head to avoid getting any of it in his eyes. When he turned his head back Lily was approaching him. She wrapped her arms around his body, resting her head against his shoulder. In return he wound his arms around her waist. They stayed like that for a moment before Lily leaned back to look up at him.

And I love you.

He cupped her face in his hand and reached down, covering her lips with his own in a tender, warm kiss. Wyatt had never hidden his affection for Lily in public and in their earliest days as a couple he had if anything showed too much affection. But just then he wanted to hold her and share a moment with the love of his life after she acheived so much. It was hard to remember all of the things that they had gone through and both of them had changed. Wyatt had hardened, being more careful than he had ever been before but it served him well. He had matured in the years that Lily had been away and he knew that she had gone through a major transformation. Once cancer was out of the way, which he was sure it would be someday, they could get used to each other and how they had changed. He was sure that he would love her even more through that kind of experience.

He finally pulled away from her lips then laying one more feather-light kiss on her lips.

When you're up for it we can do some halter work with him. I can see now that you two will be good for each other.

Wyatt did not speak in a whisper but he spoke quietly. He was like that - the quiet but strong type. He kissed the top of her head, covered by the hankerchief. Somewhere in the distance a few of the horses neighed, still frolicking in their paddocks, using up all of their pent up energy. Wyatt looked past Lily and saw Billy leading Ace and Beau out of the barn. Ace's ears perked forwards and he nibbled at Beau's mane, causing a fuss as the big old liver chestnut warned Ace away with his bare teeth. Billy scolded the two horses before spotting Lily and Wyatt. He waved and walked on over to them, keeping a bit of a distance, not wanting Flyer to stir the two horses he had just calmed down.

"Mornin'."

He greeted them with a friendly smile, completely oblivious as to what had just happened.

"Can ya give me a hand? Hawk and the twins are givin' me hell in there. And Martha won't leave her stall, she ain't budgin'."

Ace moved forwards, tugging on the lead as he reached for Lily, attempting to nibble at her hands after smelling the carrot on her hands. Of course the carrot was long gone but Ace'd be damned if he didn't get something.

Get Dee out the stables. Martha'll follow.

Billy shook his head.

"Thought of that. Didn't work. Not one damn bit."

Wyatt frowned, running a hand through his hair.

Alright. I'll be there in a moment.

Billy nodded then headed off with Beau, tugging Ace in the right direction and the gelding side stepped a few times before reluctantly following. Wyatt turned to Lily, still supporting her after her tiresome but rewarding experience.

You gonna head back to the house or come see the rest of the horses?

[Lily Parker]

That horse amazed her time after time. When he had first arrived at the BLM, she hadn't thought that there would be hope for him. But she had been wrong, just like everyone else. Unlike everyone else, she had given him a chance. Everyone and everything deserved a chance in her eyes, and she wasn't about to let him down. She had spent day after day in front of his pen, stepping closer when he would allow it and backing away when he couldn't tolerate her. But she had never given up on him, and that was what Flyer connected to. Here was this damaged woman, coming to him and offering him the strength which she could barely hold onto herself. Flyer connected with her somehow, and now he didn't want to leave her side. Even as she stepped out of his pen, his distress was obvious. Her visit had given him new hope though, for she was alive. He nickered after her, his blue eye peeking through the small spaces between the boards. He watched her carefully and tossed his head when she reached Wyatt.

Flyer wanted to agree with Wyatt. He knew somehow that this man was what Lily needed, but he couldn't trust him yet. Wyatt had been nothing but kind to him, but it was hard for Fly. It had taken Lily months upon months to get where she was with the stallion. Flyer wanted to trust again, but it was difficult for the stallion. Lily took her time with him though and knew that he'd make a great working horse in the end. They just needed to take things slow. She left him with one last rub, just as reluctant to leave him as he was for her to leave him. But she was weakening, and her stamina wasn't what it had been. That last chemo session had sent her for a loop, and she was feeling those after effects. But the good news was that she hadn't gotten sick this time. She had just lost more hair, which was unfortunate in her eyes. She just didn't want Wyatt to hate her for all of this. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled and stayed with her husband. He warmed her chilly bones and she burrowed into him, trying to fight the cold. It was a good thing he had given her his jacket, but she felt badly for him. He had nothing to keep him warm. Hearing his words, she looked up with a smile upon her face. He loved her too, and that was all that mattered.

As he cupped her face, she let him willingly, just wanting to feel his touch. She needed to feel his touch. Him holding her was what kept her going. When it was late at night and she couldn't sleep, she always cuddled up next time, hoping she wouldn't wake him. Somehow she always woke up with his arms around her, and that was exactly what she hoped for. She never wanted him to let go. As he leaned down to kiss her, she returned the sweet gentle kiss, adding her own love and passion. Lily loved this man more than life itself, and she hoped that she would now be with him forever. This cancer was only going to make her stronger when she survived, and she was going to come back to him a brand new woman. A healthy woman. Her strength fed off of him and Katy. Without them she would never make it through this sickness. But now she could, and she was grateful. As he pulled away, she looked up at him and felt his feather light kiss upon her lips. It was then that she heard his proposition. She would be well enough in a few days. She knew she would be.

"I want to get him out to his pasture. He needs to run. I know it will make him better."

She said earnestly, looking up to Wyatt with hope in her eyes. He would understand. He always seemed to understand her. Flyer couldn't be cooped up just as Lily couldn't be. The horse needed to stretch his legs somewhere other than in the circles of the round pen. Sighing once more Lily held onto Wyatt another moment until she heard the sounds coming from the barn. Of course. He would need to get back to work. Work that she could be helping him with if only she wasn't sick. SHe stayed where she was as Billy came into view, leading Beau and Ace. Beau had been her horse when she was here before she left. He was a good horse, and when she was well enough she knew that she would want to get on him again. She needed to ride again. That was another slow step though and she didn't know when Wyatt would be alright with her riding again. Baby steps. She would just have to take baby steps.

As Billy greeted them, she lifted a hand and offered her cousin a smile. He had been supportive of her through this sickness, and so had Carl. They had helped her so much, and she didn't know how she was going to repay any of them. She would find a way, somehow. Maybe she would throw them all a small party of some sort. They all deserved it. Christmas was coming after all. Thinking to herself for a moment, she realized Ace was reaching for her. Smiling slightly, she slowly reached him, letting him investigate her hand. She knew he wanted the carrot, but Fly had already taken care of that.

"Sorry bud, I don't have anything for you today."

The horses knew her as the one who fed them treats. She would always sneak around WYatt and Carl and Billy because she was sure they wouldn' agree with it as much as she did. She gave the horses too much anyway, but they deserved a treat every now and again. Tickling Ace's muzzle, she watched as he was led away, and then heard the problems of Billy and the horses in the stables. She didn't think Wyatt would want her coming into the stable, not when she was already tired. But she wanted to go in. Looking over to him as he agreed to help out, she waited for his words to her. Her heart skipped a beat when he asked her if she wanted to come see the horses. He probably already knew how she was going to answer that question.

"I'll come with you."

She hadn't seen Martha in a while and she was always partial to the mare. She loved the older girl and hoped that she was alright. Leaning slightly on Wyatt, she walked with him into the barn and instantly felt warmer inside. It wasn't much better, but she could handle it. Letting go of her husband, she headed down towards Martha's stall and found the mare in the back. She entered quietly, her eyes searching the mare's body. She didn't know what was wrong, but she had always liked talking to the horse before. Even though there was no response, she never felt that stupid doing it. She sidled quietly over to the horse, but made sure that she knew she was coming.

"Hey old girl. Not feeling up to the weather today? I don't blame you...it's freezing."

Lily spoke softly, her voice calming and gentle. She loved this horse and hoped nothing was wrong with her. Her hands worked their way up the mare's neck, rubbing and scratching to bring her some comfort. She reached Martha's face and gently stroked her nose, wishing she would be alright. Kissing her muzzle softly, she continued her rubbing, wondering what the men would do to get her out of the stall. She wished Martha would just walk out with her, but she doubted that would happen. Giving her one last pat, she headed towards the stall door, knowing she would only be in the way. She went instead to visit Hawk, wondering what trouble he was creating. Growing slightly tired now, she went to where some hay bales were stacked and sat upon them, tucking her hands into the pockets of Wyatt's coat. She hoped everything would go alright, and wished that she could help somehow. For now she just stayed out of the way.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 1048
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Home by Daughtry

Silver Stag Ranch had a variety of horses, most of which were mustangs. Some of them were the descendents of the wild herd that ran freely over their part of Nevada. Most of those horses were now mixed but had once been pure. Wyatt's ranch horses were proud and served him well on the ranch. His father and himself had raised and trained most of them, gaining their trust and loyalty. Wyatt loved Mustangs the most out of any other breed of horse. Their personalities suited him just fine and once or twice he had ridden some fancy Warmblood or Hanoverian but they weren't quite right for him. Ace and Martha were the only ones that were not pure Mustangs. Martha had some Appaloosa in her which explained her less stocky build than the other horses. She had been elegant from a very tender age and had shown qualities as a leading mare. She was still the most dominant in her paddock and the other horses knew well enough to treat her as their elder. She was in fact the eldest, three years ahead of Beauford. She had been bred with Hero and given them their pluckiest horse yet - Ace. Ace was full of mischief and had given Martha a hard time during his first year. Wyatt had been forced to separate the two a few times when Ace had just been too much for the quiet mare.

Wyatt didn't seem too concerned as he walked with Lily and since he was such a quiet man it was hard to tell if his silence was normal or if he was actually hiding his concern. They reached the stables where the horse's stalls were all lined up, nice and cosy with a fresh bed of straw to keep them warm at night. Wyatt let Lily go ahead of him, seeing her disappear into Martha's stall. He passed Wildcat on his way and stopped to give her a good pat. Over the half door Dee's little muzzle strained to reach for Wyatt's affectionate pat.

Ya silly thing.

Wyatt smiled, reaching down to ruffle the colt's ears. Wildcat grunted and returned to her hay, patiently waiting for Billy to retrieve her. Her twin Scat was already out in the paddocks, most probably causing chaos with his new found friend Ace. Wyatt approached Martha's stall, rubbing Lily's back as she exited the stall.

I'm sure Martha's okay, Lil.

He soothed, headed into the mare's stall.

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

Wyatt approached Martha who perked her ears as the ranch owner walked towards her. She reached towards him with her muzzle, tentatively lifting a front leg onto the tip of its hoof.

Again, Gal?

Wyatt shook his head, running a hand through his hair. Martha wasn't old per say, she was just older. She would probably outlive all the other horses knowing her. Yet she was picking up problems with her legs, mainly the left front one. Just two weeks back she had limped around for a few days then recovered soon enough. This time it looked like it was paining her a bit more. Wyatt walked over to her left side, bending down and running his hand down her leg. He clicked with his tongue and Martha obediently lifted her leg. He checked the frog, checking for some bruising but found nothing. He let her leg down and Martha hobbled a bit, dropping her head a bit and turning to watch Wyatt. He started with her shoulder, working his way down to her fetlock then returning to her upper leg.

Bit tender, ain't it?

Her upper leg was warm, a sure sign that she had done something to hurt the muscle. When Wyatt's hand lingered Martha squealed. It wasn't high pitched but just a warning that he should watch himself. Wyatt stood up and patted her neck. She groaned and flicked her ears back and forth.

You've had worse.

Wyatt stood with her, smiling as Martha calmed and nibbled at the sleeve of his jersey.

You're fine, ain't ya? Yeah, ya are. C'mon now don't be like that. I'll let ya stay in 'ere.

He stroked the mare's neck then exited her stall, closing the latch and leaving her in peace. All she needed was some rest and the cold would only make her stiff and uncomfortable. Wyatt turned in the aisle, seeing Lily on the other side resting on a couple of hay bales all stacked up. He crossed the aisle and stood before her, hearing Dee Boy let out a little impatient squeal. Wildcat grunted and there was a shuffle before it was quiet again. Wyatt loved to just listen to the sounds of the horses.

She just needs some rest.

He concluded and then dropped down onto the balls of his feet, resting a hand on Lily's knee and looking up into her face.

How 'bout you? Ya look a bit worn down.

Wyatt's smile faded a little bit but it still pulled up the corners of his lips.

I'll make the next few weeks as easy for ya as I can. If I were ya god knows I'd already be back in the saddle but I wanna say that I admire ya for bein' so patient. You're a wonder to me Lil. Thank ya for comin' back.

He dropped his eyes for a moment, doing that thing that he always did when he was getting uncomfortable - rubbing the back of his neck. Then with a sigh he dropped that hand onto his knee.

Whatta say we head back to the house and I'll make breakfast? The boys will be fine by themselves for another hour.

Wyatt waited on her answer, just about ready to sway her off of her feet if need be. She hadn't had this much excitement for weeks so he knew how tiring it must have been, yet at the same so rewarding. He wouldn't be surprised if this was the start to their next journey - a recovery. A time to heal as a couple as well as finally hearing that she was cancer free. That, however, was still a few steps ahead of where they were just then. Hopefully there would be no set-backs. Goodness knows that this little family needed to catch a break.

[Lily Parker]

Lily loved this ranch. It was home to her, and always would be home to her. She was stupid for leaving, and she always felt as if her sickness was a karma of some sort. She wasn't superstitious like that normally, but she had no other explanation. Cancer wasn't hereditary in her family and she had always lived a healthy life. She had been a little thicker when she was here, but that was from all of the good home cooked meals and everything else. She had been happy here. And then she had thrown it all away because she was nothing better than a coward. She couldn't tell her husband her problems, and she let her depression get the best of her. She had missed the earliest years of their daughter's life, and she almost ruined the man that she loved so much. What had she been thinking? Lily's brow furrowed as she sat upon the stacked hay bales, her legs swinging gently back and forth. She had the look of concern and worry, but mostly frustration. She should have never left. That was what it all came down to. Maybe then she wouldn't be sick. Maybe then she wouldn't have been in danger of throwing her life away.

If Wyatt hadn't accepted her when she came back she didn't know what she would have done. She didn't know who she would have been anymore. Without him she had felt lost and as if she was spinning out of control. He grounded her, and made her feel safe. She couldn't express the love she felt for him because she had so much of it. And, she had missed his father's death. She had heard no news of a funeral date or any of the sort, but why would she? She missed that old tough man for he always seemed to understand her when no one else could. He was always forgiving, and Lily had spoken to him many a nights when she and Wyatt had one of their seldom arguments. He had been there for her, and she hadn't returned the favor. After all of that time she hadn't been able to say goodbye and be there for him when he needed her the most. Not that he really needed her, but it made her feel as if she had a place here. Sighing quietly, she wrapped her arms around her mid section as if to ward away the cold. It reminded her of the early days when she had just started to be sick. Her stomach had always been on fire, and she had always clutched at it like this. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she looked up as Wyatt emerged from Martha's stall.

She forced a smile quickly upon her face as he announced that the mare just needed some rest. Lily could concur with that statement. Wyatt had once again comforted her when she had left Martha's stall, rubbing her back and giving her encouraging words. Lily had appreciated that and took a small strength from those actions. The young woman now studied her husband as he came forward and stopped at her knees. His hand instantly brought warmth to her knee, and she let her hand rest on his wrist of that hand.

"So she'll be alright?"

Lily's doe eyes were filled with worry, and that was always how she was. Normally she didn't care enough about herself. She always put everyone in front of her, and now she was more concerned over the older mare in the stall than she was for her own health. Furrowing her brow a little, she studied him once more and then heard his question. He could read her like a book. She didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand, it meant he would make sure she didn't push herself, but on the other she felt like she couldn't push herself enough. But she needed to take it slow and easy. She was recovering from a major surgery and the chemo rounds always threw her for a loop. He knew her limits even if she didn't want to admit to them. Sighing, she shrugged her shoulders a little. Lily offered him a small smile.

"I've been worse. It's just frustrating I guess. I haven't done anything this morning, and I feel like I've just run five miles."

She explained with a small laugh. She had to laugh at herself in these situations because if she didn't, she didn't know how she would take it. Looking into his eyes as he stood in front of her, she wanted to keep staring at him forever. She couldn't get over how much she really loved this man. After another moment, she watched him as he started speaking, and noticed the signs that he was uncomfortable. But those last words would be forever in her mind and in her heart. He was glad that she came back. Her heart skipped a beat at the proclamation, and the smile could be seen playing at the edges of her mouth. To hear those words was like Christmas over and over again. They filled her with warmth and with hope. Her eyes found his after a moment, and she brought her hand up to cup his cheek.

"I love you Wy. So much. I want to ride again, and I want to do everything that I used to be able to do, but I know it'll take take. And I'm scared. I don't want to die, and leave you all over again. So I'm doing this for you. And for Katy, and for me. I can't be responsible for a hurt like that again. I wanted to come back, and I needed to come back. I need you Wyatt."

She finished honestly and quietly. Her eyes held sincerity, and it was obvious how truthful she was being now. She had to get that off of her chest. She wasn't made of steel, and sometimes she faltered in her fight against this, but she was trying. She was scared as hell and didn't know what tomorrow would ever bring, but she wouldn't go down without a fight. She needed him to understand that. She would never willingly leave him again. She couldn't do that to him, and she wouldn't do that to him. Her tired eyes couldn't help but watch him, and they lit up slightly when he mentioned breakfast. She didn't know how much she was going to be able to eat, but she even surprised herself when her stomach rumbled in hunger. Giving him a sheepish grin, she nodded and slowly hopped off of the bales, using him for a little balance and support.

"I think that's a great idea. Just wait. Soon enough I'll be out here helping you again. I promise."

And she wouldn't go back on another promise. Smiling to him once more, she held his hand as they walked back to the house. The walk back really took what was left of her low energy, and she didn't want to admit that she was feeling sick. She had done a little too much this morning, but now she knew her limits. She reached the house soon enough though and released her hold on Wyatt when they reached the kitchen. Her face had paled slightly, but she didn't want him to notice. She would just go to the bathroom. That seemed like a simple solution. Telling him she'd be right back, she smiled when she heard Katy still playing with the dogs, followed by Noah's playful bark. She made it down the hallway without being detected by her daughter and found the bathroom. Closing the door behind her, she felt like she was burning up. Unzipping Wyatt's jacket, she hung it up on the back of the door and went to the sink. Splashing water on her face, she reached for her hanker-chief and pulled it off. And with it came a good portion of what was left of her hair. With it came what was left of her strength for today.

"Oh no. No, no."

Holding what was left of her blonde locks, she felt her eyes well up with tears. It seemed stupid. Hair grew back. It always would. But that wasn't the point. She had wanted Wyatt to think she was beautiful again. She had wanted him to admire her, and how could he ever do that when she looked the way she did? Staring at her reflection in the mirror was a mistake, for all that looked back was a lanky, bald individual with hollows in her cheeks and black circles under her eyes. She wanted to remain strong, but she needed her moment to be weak before she faced her family members. Not bothering to lock the door, she sank down on the closed toilet seat and held her hair in her hands. And before she could stop them, warm tears were rolling down her cheeks. Why couldn't this be over by now? She was scarred, both physically and mentally, and it was tolling on her. She was trying to be strong, but it was so hard. Right now, she just wanted Wyatt. But right now, she couldn't face him. She was ugly, and she knew it was stupid, but it was so hard to think he would ever like this. This was stupid of her, but she couldn't help it. She just didn't think this sickness would last this long.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 878
Status: Complete
Lyrics: When You Cry by Vertical Horizon

Its just her leg. It'll be fine by the weekend.

Wyatt's heart had turned in on itself when he had seen Lily with her arms wrapped around her stomach, remembering a night that had brought them closer together than all of those other days combined. It had been the day they had discovered she was sick. It made Wyatt feel weak inside because to see someone so helpless and to be just as helpless yourself was heartbreaking. No matter how tough Wyatt could be he wasn't tough enough not to suffer when his wife hurt.

Lily admitted that she needed Wyatt and his shoulders dropped almost immediately. The look in his eyes was nearly indecipherable and hell, even Wyatt hardly knew what he was feeling. It had been so hard to be separated from her and he had had weeks to get used to the idea of being with her again. He liked being with Lily, no, no, he loved being with her. Then he remembered how he had waited for her to come back, sitting in one of the kitchen chairs facing either the door or the window. He'd sit there for hours on end when he couldn't sleep and would be brought out of his daze by Katy's crying. He had wanted to tear his hair out, shout and not have to care about who heard him or who needed him. Wyatt had never admitted to those feelings and thinking back on them, he was ashamed of it. He was human - everyone had a dark place and he had gone there and come out stronger. He damned these problems, knowing very well that they were both going to need time to forgive themselves.

I'll keep you to that promise.

Wyatt said, smiling gently and taking her hand as they walked back to the house.

Heaven knows that you're with me now
Heaven knows that you're here
I feel your breath all around me now
And all the pain just disappears
It goes away, it goes away

And it only hurts, when you cry
I'm only sad when there's tears in your eyes
I can't lie and say I'm fine
But it only hurts, when you cry

You carry too much on your shoulders
I can't wait till you let me down
Cause the only thing we're getting is older
This time never comes back around
It just goes away, it goes away

They had reached the house and Wyatt opened the door for Lily where once again she walked ahead. He couldn't let her feel totally dependent on him or else she'd eventually lose it. Having been so free then suddenly restricted by means of losing your independence was something any proud person would not handle well. Where ever she needed to do something on her own Wyatt just quietly stood by and let Lily do her thing. Wyatt walked towards the coffee maker, eyeing the half empty cup of coffee that Lily had left on the counter.

Do you...

Wyatt had turned his head but Lily was no longer in the kitchen. His brow pulled together in another classic Parker frown. He tensed for a moment but supposed that she wanted to compose herself. Lily hadn't looked well as she entered the house and with an exhale, Wyatt turned to face the counter again. He looked out the window at the yard. Hero was standing in his paddock on the far side, standing tall and proud with his ears pointed forwards. Despite being loyal to Wyatt the stallion longed for the Nevada plains, he just knew it. Wyatt almost felt guilty keeping these mustangs here, so close yet so far from the place where their hearts ran free.

Wyatt turned on the coffee maker then headed to the refrigerator, collecting some frozen bacon, eggs and bread.

Katy?

He called his daughter and he heard some more shuffling in the sitting room. He recognised Gunner's whine and he left the goods on the counter. He walked into the sitting room, folding his arms and leaning against the door frame.

Don't listen to your father anymore?

Wyatt asked, watching as Katy took a lunge at Noah. She stopped in her tracks and looked up at her father with the biggest doe eyes. She had certainly inherited her eyes from her mother.

"Sorry, daddy."

Katy began to look rather coy and held onto a bit of Noah's fur. She knew very well that Wyatt could be strict when he wanted to be, but what daughter couldn't wrap their father around their finger?

That's okay, hunny. Do ya want to help with breakfast or ya gonna stay in here?

"Um...can I has some cereal?"

She answered, looking rather hopeful at Wyatt.

Can you have some cereal.

Wyatt laughed. He walked forwards and gave Gunner's back a good scratch.

I'll call ya when breakfast's ready.

Wyatt turned on his heel but when he was crossing the hall to get to the kitchen he heard some muffled noises coming from the bathroom. He stood there a moment to listen and his smile turned upside down. God how was he going to help her through this? There were times when Wyatt had to stop and figure it all out again. Sometimes a plan that seemed so brilliant at first seemed to wane when things got tougher. He took a few steps in the direction of the closed bathroom door. Tentatively he knocked on the door.

Lily?

He spoke quietly, resting his head on the door frame and closing his eyes a moment.

I can always bring breakfast up to ya in bed? Ya don't have to come out now...I'm just...I...

He sighed, opening his eyes.

What's wrong?

He finally asked. He waited patiently for her to speak no matter how long it would take her to muster a reply.

[Lily Parker]

Lily had cast one last look towards her Nokota stallion as Wyatt and she made their way back to the house. He had been standing absolutely still, which hadn't been a characteristic of his lately. His eyes had followed her every movement, and it was obvious that he loved and trusted that broken woman. He had even stood still with Hero so near to him, too intent on Lily to realize anything else. As soon as she had disappeared from view however, the spell seemed to break. As he took notice of Hero staring off into the distance, Flyer followed his gaze. The stallion missed his homeland, there was no doubt about it. But this life with Lily was something new to him, and he didn't know what to think of it yet. Those things were obvious to anyone who looked at him. He snorted after a moment, breaking the silence of the morning. Whinnying slightly in the direction of the ranch house, he seemed calm and collected. He even stayed still enough to chomp on the hay that one of the ranch hands had given him earlier. He was eating, which was a positive sign. Lily needed him just as much as he needed Lily.

The young woman could only smile at Wyatt's words of keeping her to that promise. As soon as she could she would be out here mucking stalls, grooming horses, and even helping with the cows. And then something dawned over her that made her expression furrow. What would happen when Wyatt needed to go and bring the cows home? She would normally have no problem staying home and watching over their daughter, but it was different now. As much as she wanted to say that she could handle it, she wouldn't jeapordize Katy's safety. She had another chemo treatment in two days, and she wouldn't be well after that. Who would be able to come and watch Katy if Lily didn't respond well to it? Who would take care of Finn and the other kids of the TTI program? Lily wanted to, more than anyone knew. She didn't want to feel like this much of a burden any longer. She didn't want to be in the way and make more work for everyone. Wyatt needed to be able to work without worrying about her so much. Sighing to herself, she just focused on making it to the house with one foot in front of the other. Once there she was slightly relieved, and bid a hasty retreat down the hallway and into the bathroom. Noah had sensed his owner's presence immediately, but he was with Katy, and he wasn't going to leave her while he had her entertained.

Noah whined softly in the direction of the bathroom as Wyatt came into the room. His intelligent eyes found Wyatt's, and even though he was just staring, he was also worried about Lily. He stood still even as Katy clung to his multi-colored fur, looking to Wyatt and then gazing down the hallway. Whining once more, he wagged his tail slightly and then barked once. He wanted Wyatt to go check on Lily...or he wanted something to be done when it came to Lily's face. Feeling as if he had made his point, he focused back on Katy again, playing with her as she gave him attention.

In the bathroom, Lily was having a harder time accepting what was going on. As soon as she sat down, she felt dizzy again. The doctors said this would happen occasionally so she wasn't that worried about it. It had happened to her before, but what she didn't except was the nausea. She had to stand and turn, and almost didn't make the toilet as she wretched. There was no blood in it this time, but the half a cup of coffee she drank this morning didn't do any justice. Groaning softly, she flushed and held her head in her hands before gathering the strength to stand. Washing her hands, she rinsed out her mouth and felt better as she bent to drink from the faucet. Maybe she just needed more fluids. The doctor had told her to drink a lot, and she certainly hadn't done that lately. That had to be it. But it didn't explain why her hair was falling out so quickly. She had expected to lose it, but not this fast. She settled back down on the toilet again once she flipped the seat down and held the hair in her hands. What was happening? Why was this suddenly hitting her so hard? She had been so strong earlier and now it was all falling apart. She had done way too much this morning, which was her fault. But she hated being chained in like this. She loved the outdoors, and loved the horses. She couldn't keep living inside like she was. It wasn't doing her any good.

Shaking her head, she felt the tears continue to slip down her cheeks, wondering how long she could keep going on like this. In her eyes she was hideous, and completely undeserving of Wyatt and Katy. How could they love her like this? Swallowing past the lump in her throat, her breath caught and escaped in the form of a sob. Well that was great. She hadn't wanted her family to be able to hear her. Biting her lip, she suddenly jumped when she heard a knock on the door followed by her name. Oh no. She wanted Wyatt here for her, but she didn't want him to see her like this. She had to gather what was left of her strength and of her pride. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled and was about to speak when she heard his words again. He was offering to bring breakfast up to her, and she appreciated it, she really did. But that's not what she wanted. It only made her look weaker. And then she heard him stutter over his words, followed by his question. She was breaking him all over again.

Forcing herself to her feet, she absentmindedly put what was left of her hair on the sink counter, knowing she was going to throw it away anyway. It sounded stupid, but it was hard to part with it because it was all that she had left. Sighing, she tried to stop her shaking hands but with no success. Ignoring them, she wiped at her cheeks and her eyes with her hands, trying to compose herself. Without another moment's hesitation she reached for the door handle and pulled it open, forgetting that her hanker-chief was no longer on. Her grey eyes found his immediately, and she lost what little composure she had left. Her eyes filled with tears suddenly, and they spilled out to fall down her cheeks. So much for being strong for him all of the time. Embarrassment filled her very core, and she was speechless for a moment before she choked out her voice.

"How could you possibly love me like this? Or want me like this?"

She finished breathlessly, her deepest fears confessed. She tried to calm herself down, but she just couldn't. Her voice was quiet because she didn't want to alert Katy, but she just didn't know what else to do.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 410
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Beautiful by Eminem

Wyatt waited a good few minutes before finally Lily opened the bathroom door. When she did he had to swallow, staring at the face of a very sick woman.

Jesus Lil.

He whispered as she began to sob, choking on her own tears as they spilled from her sad eyes. Katy's laughter rang out from the sitting room and she yelled Gunner's name repeatedly. Wyatt didn't scold her for shouting so loudly, instead he let his daughter play blissfully whilst he stood with her mother. He was quiet for a while until he felt Noah's cold nose press against his hand. Wyatt looked down at the dog who sat, whining as he watched his owner. Wyatt looked back at Lily with his head tilted to one side. His hair fell messily across his forehead and his expression was crestfallen.

Lil.

Wyatt reached out for her hand, lacing their fingers together and bringing the back of her hand up to his lips. He kissed it gently, looking at her over her shaking hand.

Lately I've been hard to reach I've been too long on my own Everybody has a private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me, are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me, I'm reaching out for you

I'm just so fuckin' depressed I just can seem to get out this slump
If I could just get over this hump
But I need something to pull me out this dump I took my bruises, took my lumps
Fell down and I got right back up But I need that spark to get psyched back up
In order for me to pick the mic back up
I don't know how or why or when I ended up in this position I'm in
I'm starting to feel distant again

I love you, Lily Parker. I don't love this cancer and right now, all these things that are happening to you, its all cancer. None of this is you. You're buried under all of it and you may not be able to see yourself, but I do.

Wyatt stepped closer to Lily as she continued to shake. He pressed his forehead against hers and his free hand rested on the nape of her neck. He was careful not to tug on any of her hair which was fragile enough without him pulling on it. There were obvious bald patches on her head now and knowing how proud Lily was, he could imagine just how devastating that could be.

I can't imagine how bad this is hurting you.

He spoke quietly and stared her straight in the eyes. He needed to get his words through to her so that she would listen to him. She needed something comforting to hear, so he would give it to her, and damn it, it was the truth.

Its hard to accept the things that happen to us. God knows we both hear that. Just hang in there. I'm here, and so is Katy. We both love you so much. We love you even like this because although your body is breaking apart on the outside, you're actually getting stronger on the inside.

His eyes pleaded with her.

Do you hear me, Lil?

[Lily Parker]

Lily's desperation was apparent, and it was also equally obvious that for the moment she felt hopeless and helpless. She had been putting up a strong front from the first day she stepped out of the hospital from her surgery. But the scars were there. They would forever remind her of this ordeal, and she didn't know if she wanted to remember it. She would be grateful and proud if she survived, but those scars would always bring her back to these times. These times when she put unnecessary strain on her husband and worry into the big heart of their daughter. This wasn't fair to them, but she wouldn't leave. If it had been the old Lily, there would have been no surviving this. She wouldn't have been strong enough to stay around Wyatt, and she wouldn't have been strong enough to be who she was now. Lily had changed so much in her absence, and it was for the better. It was what was keeping her alive and sane now. However, even the strongest have a breaking point, and Lily had just reached hers. It was over the simple act of losing more hair. It sounded silly, but Lily couldn't let that slide. She was losing weight, losing sleep, and now on top of that she was losing her hair.

In the scheme of things, when she looked back on it, she would much rather lose all of her hair ten times over than lose her life. Deep down even now, a part of her understood that. However, right now she had reached a point of hysteria. She knew it was because she was exhausted. She had slept well in the arms of her husband last night, with her arms wrapped around their daughter, but she still had a lot of sleep to catch up to. Last night was the first night she had really slept through, and soundly at that. She was happy, but it almost made her more tired. Sighing quietly to herself now, Lily tried her best to look presentable for her husband. She had stopped at the mirror before opening the door, and that was why it took her a few minutes to open the door. She had tried to clean herself up, but it was going to take a lot more than trying to wipe her tears or anything else. She couldn't run her hands through her hair in fear of losing what was left, and she just looked awful. It was understandable because she was sick, but it made Lily embarrassed and revolted. She would get through it somehow.

She thought she had regained her composure, and that was the only reason she had opened the door. But as soon as she saw her husband's worried face and his caring eyes, she lost it. She lost it because here was this man that she didn't deserve. Here was this man that would put everything on the line for her, and she had walked away from him. Here was this man changing his schedule and running his life around her, and she didn't know if she could ever repay him enough. She loved Wyatt with all of her heart, but she didn't know how to tell him that so that he would truly understand. Hearing him speak when he first saw her almost sent her into more hysterical sobs. Maybe he was realizing now just how bad this was, she didn't know. She was afraid that he wouldn't want her anymore. She had come back only to be thrown back out. She would deserve it, no doubt, but she couldn't face that reality now. Not when she was so weak and sick. Hearing him speak her familiar nickname, she finally raised her shining blue gray eyes to his. His fingers were suddenly laced with hers, and she looked down, taking comfort in his touch. As he kissed her hand and spoke his words, Lily didn't know what to say. The frustration and the hopelessness was a lot for her to handle, but he was trying, and so should she.

Oh, Wyatt. How can I ever be enough for you like this?"

She whispered softly, and knew she needed to turn herself around. She couldn't think negatively because that's what would make her turn for the worst. She couldn't let that happen. This morning had reawakened something deep in her heart and her soul, and she couldn't throw that all away. Flyer was living for her, and Wyatt and Katy were too. She had so many things and people to live for that loved her. She couldn't disappoint anyone ever again. Lily looked up as he stepped closer, her eyes questioning him as he did so. As his forehead rested against hers, she closed her eyes. She loved this man with every beat of her heart. Finding comfort and solace over his nearness, she found her body relaxing, the tenseness leaving her shoulders. She seemed to sag, but she kept her feet. She wouldn't fall, not with him here with her. As he spoke about not knowing how much it hurt her, her eyes opened and she spoke in response.

"I don't want to believe it hurts. I want to be stronger than this."

She admitted, almost gathering her resolve to make that statement true. Staying with him as they were, she felt a nudge to her leg, and glanced down a little to see Noah. A small smile reached her tired face as she reached down to scratch him a little. He wagged his tail, and seeming satisfied, laid down behind Wyatt's feet. Lily looked to Wyatt once more, staying close to him for strength. She forced herself to meet his eyes, studying him as he quietly pressed his strength and his compassion into her, willing her to be strong. His words hit their mark, and she closed her eyes after he finished. He was right. Wyatt was always right when it came to her. She had people who loved her and accepted her no matter what she looked like or how sick she was. They were willing her to survive this, and she couldn't lose sight of that. She was getting stronger on the inside even if she was falling apart on the outside. The outside wasn't what was important. Her hair would grow back, and she would gain the weight back once she was better. She just needed to focus on getting better. She kept her eyes closed as she spoke first.

"I hear you Wyatt."

She whispered, forcing her tired eyes open. She couldn't believe how supportive he was being. She appreciated it more than he could ever know. In another moment she stepped into him, wrapping her arms around him and burrowing into him like she was known to do. Her heart beat was racing, but she was calming down. Her shaking was slowly subsiding, and she seemed to be regaining the composure she had. The tears still fell silently, but they would stem soon as well. She had gotten through her crisis because of him.

"I don't know what I would do without you Wyatt."

She said honestly, talking into his shoulder. Her voice was a little muffled because of it, but still completely understandable. She took a deep breath and exhaled and then spoke up. She wanted to make the moment lighter, for this was weighing heavily on both of their shoulders. But she knew what would help her. She needed something to do. Something that wouldn't require too much of her energy, and something that would keep her inside. Thinking quickly, she spoke up, pulling slightly away and feeling the small smile work its way onto her tired face. For now she buried her hopelessness and fear from a minute before. She wanted him to know that she was going to be alright. She had to get through this for him, and his words had hit their mark. She couldn't give up now. Not when they were so close. Not when she had a chance of recovering.

"I think we need to go get some hats. If I'm bald, I might as well be slightly stylish."

She finished with a small laugh, her eyes lighting up a little more. And now she just needed to tell him of her idea that could happen the same day they went hat shopping.

"And we need to go Christmas tree shopping. I can't do much outside, but that doesn't mean the inside can't look festive, right?"

She was bouncing back fast from her moment of hysteria because it was the only way she knew how to deal with it. It was sudden, but she accepted it without complaint. She didn't question it, but knew it was because of Wyatt. He had given her the hope and the strength that she needed. She wasn't alone in this. And that was what helped her the most. Besides, if she had something to do she would feel needed, and just like she was taking up space. She could decorate at her own pace, and her own speed, having Katy help her inside and keeping their energetic daughter busy. It would work out perfectly. She knew their old decorations were up in the attic somewhere. It was the perfect place to start.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 912
Status: Complete
Lyrics: N/A

Wyatt had never been as emotional as the day that Lily had left. Just remembering it them seemed to cause him some heartache. It was hard to forget those scars and they never seemed to let you forget about them. He had buckled a few times under the pressure of the return of an estranged wife, her sudden ailment, the money troubles he had been experiencing after a drought, and a daughter to whom he had to care for when her mother couldn't. He had never ever blamed Lily for any of that though. Yes, she had left, but she came back. That was the biggest part of it all. So many times Wyatt had gone out with one of the horses, headed towards the trails that he took whenever something bothered him. He had gone all of but three times. All three had been to set the problem out in front of him and think it through. That's what he did. He didn't clear his mind and then suddenly have clarity. That didn't work with him. He needed to solve it like a puzzle and it had worked damn well. If it hadn't been for those times then he mightn't have been standing with Lily then and there.

At this point Lily had wrapped her arms around him and buried into his broad chest. He loved it when she did that, not just because it made him feel like a big old teddy bear, but because it also gave him some comfort. She spoke to him with her face still buried in his shoulder and Wyatt tilted his head down just in time to meet that lovely, but tired, smile of hers. He didn't smile at first but then when she showed a sense of humour Wyatt gave her a big old toothy smile. His teeth were surprisingly white against his tanned Nevada skin. Everything about this man spoke about this ranch. His father had built it up around up and Wyatt was smack bang in the middle of that creation. And here he was, enclosing Lily in his arms - the woman whom his pa had never lost faith in. If the old man were with them Wyatt might have broken his bones giving him a hug larger than life for all the gratitude he had. And that was speaking in volumes because father and son had hugged rarely.

Right. That'll be great for you an' Katy. She loves givin' that sittin' room a bit of colour.

Wyatt leaned forward and kissed his wife on her forehead.

Go ahead an' get ready. We can take the truck into town an' I'll take you two to the diner. After that the day is entirely yours. Any hat you want is yours.

Wyatt gave a little laugh, obviously amused the way he looked at her. Then he backed up to go and call Katy to get her ready, but he hesitated and leaned forwards again, his hand gently resting on her hip as he kissed her.

You're a gorgeous woman.

With that Wyatt turned on his heel, stepping over Noah who started to wag his tail, and disappeared into the sitting room.

Katy, we're goin' into town. C'mon you gotta get ready. Gunner's exhausted!

Katy noticed the change in her father's mood and instantly warmed up to it. She gave Gunner a messy pat then ran on over into her father's arms. He settled her into his hip again as he often did and walked over to the stairs that led to the second story. On the way they passed Lily and playfully Wyatt was bouncing Katy around.

Maybe you can get a hat too.

Katy giggled and reached out for her mother, patting her on the shoulder as she was bounced around by her father.

"I wants a pink one!"

Wyatt settled down, leaning back and staring at Katy.

With a pink ribbon?

"I like da way you think, mista!"

Now that's Billy's fault.

Wyatt said to Lily, smiling fondly at her as he paused for a moment. Good god he loved her. He really, really did. Wyatt's eyes dropped and then he regathered himself to entertain Katy as they made the venture upstairs to get her out of her pyjamas and into some warm clothes for their trip into town.

Katy was dressed and waiting in the kitchen whilst Wyatt drove the old pick up truck around to the entrance so that Lily and Katy could stay warm a moment longer rather than freeze outside. The truck's engine groaned as it warmed up, coughing up white clouds out of the exhaust until Wyatt pulled up in front of the kitchen door. He honked on the horn to let the girls know he was ready. Carl came jogging up to the truck after Wyatt had motioned for him, standing a few feet from the drivers door where Wyatt looked out at him from under his stetson.

We're headed into town for a lil while. Handle the normal chores 'round the ranch. Nothin' special gotta be done so once you're done ya can make yourself some coffee up at the house. There's bacon an' all with your name on it.

Carl smiled big at his boss, nodding his head.

"We'll make sure it don't go to waste."

With that Carl went off to the barn and Wyatt turned his head back as he waited for his precious cargo - Lily and Katy.

[Lily Parker]

She needed to start paying more attention to Wyatt. He loved her unconditionally, and he was there for her whenever she needed him. But what was she when he needed a shoulder to lean on? She wanted to help him just as much as he was helping her. She wanted to help him and to support him because that was what he deserved and that was what she wanted to do. Everyone was so concerned with her now because she was sick. But that wasn't the one they needed to worry about all of the time. They needed to take Wyatt into consideration. He was pulling three times his weight around here, and that wasn't fair, or right. He cared for Katy even while he was caring for this ranch. He gave strength and support to the woman that he loved without expecting anything in return. And Lily wanted to repay him for that. She wanted to make sure that he knew how much she appreciated him. She also wanted him to feel needed, and rested. He couldn't push himself as hard as he had been because he was going to tire out a lot easier. She wouldn't let that happen because of her. As soon as she got stronger, she would be caring for Katy so that he could focus on the ranch work. And once he came in at night she would have a steaming mug waiting for him and hot dinner on the table.

She wanted to have family games set up, and just evenings that they could spend together as a family. It was what everyone here deserved and needed. Katy needed to feel that security of two loving parents once more, and Lily was more than ready and able to give that to her. She knew Wyatt had been giving that to the little girl since day one of Lily's absence, and the mother had a lot of catching up to do. She would make it up to the both of them, somehow, someway. But she was brought back to the present as Wyatt wrapped his arms around her in return to her embrace. She loved being in his arms, and loved burrowing into him. She loved to be near him, and this brought her closer than a lot of things. She didn't want to leave his warmth, and that was obvious as she clung on as if life was depending on it. She didn't want to let go, and wasn't ready to let go yet. Even as she spoke, she didn't lift her head from his shoulder. She couldn't bring herself to do that yet, or have the energy to do so. When she finally looked up with her smile, she saw his face remain somber for a moment. It was only after her attempt at a joke that he came to life, bringing her that joy from his gorgeous smile. It brightened hers immediately and she couldn't help but stare. She had been more than lucky when she found him. It was like fate, but she wouldn't talk about it. That would be like jinxing it, and she didn't want to do that.

As he spoke up, she smiled and nodded her head. She wanted to spend more time with Katy, and decorating would be the perfect idea. She also couldn't wait until the first big snowstorm that wasn't devastating to the ranch. She wanted to bring her daughter outside and build snowmen, as well as make snow angels. She wanted to catch Wyatt off guard with a snowball to the back, and she wanted the snowball fight to ensue. She knew she could get the ranch hands in on that one. She couldn't wait until things like that could happen, when she was well enough.

"I can't wait. Hopefully she'll love doing it. I'll be down in a few."

She responded to him, and turned to go up the stairs. It was then that she heard his words of her being gorgeous after he kissed her. She felt the warmth travel through her, and was about to argue with a response, but he was already gone in the sitting area. She would get him back for that. Not that she needed to, for it had made her feel a lot better. But even small compliments like that embarrassed her. They always had, no matter what. She secretly loved it, but she would never admit it. He was the same way when she called him handsome. But that was their life. She knew he was getting Katy to get her ready, and she was going to try to be ready at the same time. However, Noah stopped her in her tracks. The australian shepherd was looking up at her with obvious worry in his eyes. Lily knew that worried look. She smiled slightly and went to him where he lay, knowing he was not at ease. He knew that she wasn't feeling well, and he didn't want her to hurt anymore. Kneeling down beside her faithful companion, she took his head in her hands and spoke to him softly.

"You're my boy. I love you Noes. We're going to make it through this, no matter what. You're a good boy, huh?"

She finished, giving him the belly rub he requested as he rolled over. After another moment she heard Katy and Wyatt coming down the hallway. She had gotten distracted, and was now going to head up the stairs with them both. As Wyatt stopped by her, she felt Katy's hand on her shoulder. Smiling, she shook her head and heard the little girl's words. As father and daughter exchanged words, Lily couldn't help but smile and laugh. That little girl was going to be a handful when she got older and Lily couldn't wait to see how Wyatt handled it. He would no doubt be the protective father, and she could just imagine how he would be when it came to boys and Katy. It would be a sight to see, and Lily couldn't wait. Grinning to herself, she took Katy's little hand and kissed their daughter's cheek. She loved her family, and that much was obvious as she stepped back and studied the father and daughter pair.

"I think pink and a ribbon is a wonderful idea. Will you help mommy pick out a hat?"

She asked the little girl, and then glanced up to Wyatt, the joy obvious in her eyes. Still smiling, she laughed slightly as he blamed Billy for Katy's words, knowing it was true. Shaking her head, she followed them upstairs and went off to the room she shared with Wyatt. Her clothes had been moved back in from the bunk house, and she couldn't be happier. She didn't need to do much, but she grabbed a hanker-chief after gently putting what was left of her hair into a long ponytail. She tied her blue kerchief around her head and shoved her black baseball cap over it. She looked normal in this attire, except for the kerchief. But she didn't mind that. She kept her jeans and her thermals on, and knew her boots were downstairs. Grabbing her warm carhartt from the closet, she zipped it up and finished her get-up with a scarf around her neck. Finally feeling as if she would be warm enough, she hurried back downstairs and saw Wyatt waiting with Katy by the door. She handed her husband his jacket, giving him a look that said he better wear it. They didn't need him getting sick.

"You better wear it."

She warned playfully, and then took gentle hold of Katy's hand. As Wyatt left to go and get the truck, Lily decided she would chance it. Turning to her daughter, she bent down and picked her up, resting the little girl on her hip. She found that it wasn't taking a lot out of her at all. Smiling down to her little girl, she spoke up in excitement.

"You ready to get a pretty Christmas tree to bugs? We've got to decorate for Santa."

She said, referring to her daughter as the nickname that she used to call her when she was a baby. She had always been squirmy, or at least when Lily was around, so the name just stuck. Rocking her for a moment, she heard the honk and started outside with her daughter still on her hip. Heading down the stairs, she watched as Carl spoke to Wyatt and reached the truck. Opening the door for Katy, she placed the little girl in her car seat and buckled her in. Smiling once more, she kissed Katy's cheek. It was flushed from the crisp air already.

"I think someone deserves some hot chocolate."

She told her daughter with a wink and then made sure she was settled and safe in her car seat. Once done, she closed the door and made her way around to her own. Once in, she settled down and buckled, throwing her hands in front of the heater. She could never be warm enough, but that was what happened when a person was as sick as she was. She ignored it though, and knew that when they got home later, she would be ready for bed. That was when she would cuddle up against Wyatt and warmth would be hers again. For now she would just enjoy the day ahead of them. She couldn't wait to pick out a tree, and start decorating with Katy. She would make Wyatt help decorate the tree as well, for that had been a tradition before she left. It was something she needed him to do. Looking over at her husband, she reached for his hand and held onto it for a moment. If he wanted or needed to pull away, he always could.

"Thank you Wyatt. I love you."

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 851
Status: Complete
Lyrics: N/A

The engine rattled the body of the truck as Wyatt idled outside of the house. Carl had gone to lead the rest of the horses out into their paddocks.

Hey Carl!

Wyatt shouted out of the window. The ranch hand turned on his heel and yelled back.

"Yeah?"

Keep Martha in her stall.

Carl gave a final nod.

"Sure thang."

Wyatt had already honked the horn and as he turned his head back with his arm resting casually over the steering wheel he heard the screen door close. He looked towards the house and there was Lily carrying their daughter on her hip. She certainly was feeling stronger and Wyatt smiled a little, giving a disbelieving shake of his head and watching as Katy was settled into her car seat. Once Lily was in the car she immediately went to the heater which Wyatt had already warmed up for his small family. Maybe one day they'd think of adding to it. That thought lingered in his mind and he was staring pensively out of the windshield. His trail of thought was broken when Lily laid her hand on his. He looked down at her hand than into Lily's face. He gave her one of those lazy, lopsided but charming smiles. He squeezed her hand then had to let go to change the gears.

Wyatt steered the truck in the direction of the road that led straight into town. It wasn't a long drive but enough to give them a good view of the land around them. The truck settled as the engine warmed and they stretched out over the road. The mountains were to their right and looming overhead was a bright blue sky. They had been on the road for ten minutes with Katy babbling the whole time. She spoke cheerfully and seemed to be quite distracted by her own thoughts, occasionally asking for her parents in put but otherwise letting them listen amusedly. Wyatt then turned his head to look out of his window, straining his eyes and slowing down the truck but only marginally. Out by the river was a fleck of honey. It moved every now and again.

Must have strayed from the herd.

Wyatt's mouth smoothed out into one line, frowning and watching the horse for a bit longer. He didn't quite recognize it until the horse turned to its side after having its head dipped into one of the thinner parts of the Taimanen river.

That's some horse.

Wyatt sounded impressed by the dun, whose face was donned by a thick white stripe that stretched over its left eye. He put his foot down on the gas again and they were back on track. The town was in view now and not at all very far.

Hey, you remember Brenda?

Wyatt turned his head to look at Lily then back at the road, although there wasn't very much to hit he took precautions when he had company in the truck. No use in being careless so he kept his eyes on the road. Brenda had been quite the socialite back in high school and had dreamed of one day being a fashion designer.

She's got herself a place in town. E.D.C. I think it's called. Might have some of those fancy hats you were talkin' 'bout.

Wyatt tried to think about some news that Lily hadn't been clued up on. Most of their friends from high school were still here and owned the businesses dotted around Westin. During the time that he had been dealing with Lily's departure a few of those friends had tried to help him. He had accomodated their presence when they were around but never saw them of his own accord. A few had taken offence and others knew him well enough to understand why he acted the way he did. He had grown closer to some of his other football buddies, joining them for beers at Hillbilly bar but that had stopped upon Lily's arrival. She hadn't interrupted his life. In fact she was bringing him back to normality. He'd get back to his other routines sooner or later but right now what was important was his marriage.

They were driving on the roads of Westin now, stopping every now and again for a pedestrian to cross. Most of them waved and some looked on curiously at the familiar rancher's truck and the passenger sitting next to him. A few familiar men were leaning on the edges of a red truck, tipping their stetsons back and nodded their way.

Think you're ready for all these people?

Wyatt asked Lily as they turned into a parking space in walking distance of all of their destinations. He pulled the gears into place, coming to a stop and switching off the engine. Katy was wriggling a bit in her seat then settled to watch her parents again.

"Mommy, I want some hot chocolates."

She huffed, straining to see out of the window. Wyatt in the meanwhile had his hand resting on her knee, watching with soft eyes as he waited on her reply.