A New Start || Wyatt

[Lily Parker]

She was nervous to put it simply. He had agreed to help her out, but she didn't know what he was going to think about the horse that she had adopted. Flyer was a gorgeous animal, but he was wild through and through. Lily had never seen anything as spirited as the young stallion was, and that was saying a lot. In her two year absence, she had been volunteering at the BLM, and had really gotten to know a lot of the wild horses. When the blue roan Nokota came in, Lily had been hooked. She didn't care that he was violent and fiery. She loved him from the first moment she saw him, and that wasn't going to change anytime soon. She knew Wyatt was going to be hesitant to bring such a wild animal to his ranch, but she had to find a way to convince him. Silver Stag was the only place for the Nokota, and she wouldn't feel comfortable bringing him anywhere else.

The ranch had all the necessary facilities, but most of all...it had Wyatt. Wyatt knew what he was doing around wild horses, and with Lily's newly acquired knowledge, she had a feeling that they could make a good team. In her two years, she had started gentling horses and using methods that many would view as insane or things that could never work. But she had read up on the techniques, and the bonds that she created with the horses she was training were like nothing she had ever experienced before. Those horses weren't hers though. Flyer was. And she had a feeling that forming a bond with the defiant stallion was going to be a lot harder than any of the other horses she ever worked with. She didn't know how easily Wyatt was going to have it either if he ever chose to work with the horse. She just couldn't think like that though. Once Flyer got here and got settled in, everything was going to be alright. He was going to belong, and he was going to carry on the lines of the rare Nokota breed. That was the only reason as to why she hadn't had him gelded. His lines were too valuable.

The young woman sighed softly as she laid in the extra bed in the bunk house. Her cousin was snoring loudly, and she couldn't fall back asleep, even though she still had another two good hours to rest. Shaking her head, she pushed up and was soon followed by her australian shephered Noah. He followed in her footsteps as she stood up and went to get ready. Pulling on a pair of slim fitting light jeans, she shoved her feet into her boots and then went over to her duffel bag. Getting a black tee shirt, she put it on and was soon ready to go once she got her black baseball cap on. She still didn't have a cowboy hat, so she was just going to settle for this one for the moment. Looking over her shoulder at her sleeping cousin, she disappeared outside with Noah at her heels. There was no reason why she couldn't help with the chores around the stable, so that's what she did. Lily started cleaning out the stalls soon enough, glad that the horses were outside and she didn't need to deal with moving them around. It didn't take her very long to clean the stalls and put fresh straw and shavings into them. Once done with the emptying of the wheelbarrow, she made sure everything was in place for the trip, and was soon working on scrubbing out the water buckets. It would keep her busy enough, and she still had another hour to kill.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 712
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Damn Regret by RJA

Wyatt was sitting on the edge of his bed, his face in his hands with his hair pretty much stacked up all over the place. He slept in long pajama pants in case his daughter walked in in the middle of the night after a bad dream. Usually it was just briefs. He couldn't stand these long things but you had to sacrifice a lot when you had kids. Not that Wyatt regretted her, god knows he'd never regret Katy. Nor did he regret Lily. It didn't pain him to say it because it was just the simple truth. The only thing that truly had hurt him was how suddenly everything just tumbled, unravelling itself as it went. Trying to get to Lily had been like banging your fists up against a brick wall - you were left bruised and with no positive results. Wyatt breathed out, standing up and walking towards his drawers. He hadn't slept at all. He was going with Lily to the BLM. Five hours alone with Lily in the car. He couldn't decide if that was good or bad. Who was going to be set up for the fall?

Once Wyatt was dressed he crept past Katy's room and down the stairs. He skipped the creaking board and carried on with his descent. The house had a crisp taste in the air and he would bet that outside was no better. Sure, it was hot as hell in the afternoons but it was also as cold as anything in the morning. His stetson was by the door, hanging on the rack meant for coats. His old mans cane was hanging on one of the racks. Wyatt hadn't moved it since his father last put it there. He just pulled on his stetson and walked on by, not even giving it a second glance. That's just what he did - ignore it because it never did any use to tumble all of that damn regret in his head.

Damn regret, I’ll try to forget
Don’t worry about me
Cause I’m real fine
Cast my line
To see what’s behind
Did you think you persuaded me to let you go?

I’m wishing you were here
My weakness is my fear
Alone I am myself
No reason left for me to care
Distracted by the sound
I hear footsteps all around
Empowered by adrenaline
Feel I've been born again
Again, I am repeating myself

The light outside on the ranch was fairly sharp despite that it was still the early hours in the morning. None of the horses were in their paddocks, all of them still tucked away in their stalls. They would be moved out later by Billy and Carl, whom would be taking care of the most of the ranch business for the day. Or watch football on his television. The top two buttons of his shirt were undone, revealing the deep curve of his throat right down to his chest. Rubbing the back of his neck, Wyatt looked down at the ground. Was he really doing the right thing? He would be spending a lot of time with Lily. Did he want that? Did she want that? What was she here for? Maybe he'd ask her - finally pluck up the courage to find out what he was setting himself up for. False hope? The whole situation made him feel insecure.

Wyatt had reached the stables and knelt down beside the tap, running a trickle of water and splashing it onto his face. Turning off the tap, he wiped the excess water off of his face with the back of his long sleeved shirt. It was a light blue. There was no sense in wearing white if he was going to have to tackle a wild stallion into a trailer. When Wyatt stood he suddenly became aware of a faint noise. It sounded like scrubbing but he couldn't figure out how that could be. It hadn't looked as if anyone had set foot in the yard. He thought everyone was still sleeping. Backing up he stood outside of the stables, tipping his hat up a little bit. Well, he wasn't getting a view of what was exactly making the noise, but he got a view of who was making the noise.

Mornin'.

As usual he dropped the g's, his accent indistinctive.

Watcha doin'?

He approached her and despite the twittering in the pit of his stomach, he felt a little strong. Sure, he didn't really know the new her but he had known the old her pretty well. It was unsteady ground but he was putting one foot in front of the other - one teeny, tiny step at a time.

[Lily Parker]

Lily had changed. She wanted Wyatt to realize that it wasn't that major of a change though. Sure, she looked different. She was thinner than she had ever been, and her muscles were starting to return to her in the work that she had been involved in with the BLM. She looked healthy, but she had lost a lot of the weight because of her depression. For days on end she wouldn't eat, and she couldn't sleep. The lack of sleep was still a problem for her now, but she wasn't going to complain about it. It wasn't effecting her mood, and she knew that it wouldn't be a problem. It just gave her darker circles beneath her eyes, which she could say was from not sleeping because of being in a newer place. It seemed simple enough. Shaking her head softly, she just focused on the task that she had assigned to herself.

She needed to pull her weight around here now if Wyatt was going to allow her to stay. If the ranch hands only had the drives and the work on the range to worry about then they'd be fresher and they'd have more time to themselves. Maybe then they wouldn't be completely exhausted like Wyatt had been in the past few months of Lily's depression. She had stopped doing her share of the work, making her husband take on her chores as well. That had left him completely spent by the end of the day, and Lily felt horrible for it now. The guilt over the entire situation was eating away at her, but that was all going to change now. She was sure of it. She was here for good if he wanted her, and she was going to make sure that she made everything up to him. The first thing Lily had decided to do was the chores in the stable. Cleaning the water buckets seemed like a simple task, but it was important all the same.

So Lily had already managed to clean the water buckets for three horses, and was now walking on the set for the next stall. She had poured the water out in an appropriate area and had filled it with a bit of water. She started scrubbing away at the dirt and the grime that had built up over the short period of time in the hot weather, and was soon rinsing them out. As she started in on the second bucket, she was so engrossed that she didn't hear anyone come up behind her. When his voice rang out in the silence, Lily couldn't help herself. She jumped up in slight fright, stumbling as she went. Regaining herself as quickly as possible, her face flushed in embarrassment as she looked his way. Hearing his question, she placed her hand over her racing heart and gave him a small, sheepish smile. "Morning. Uh, just cleaning the water buckets. I'm sorry.." She said honestly, and then finished rinsing the ones she was working on. Filling them up, she lugged them back to the designated stall and came out moments later. She was ready to go and get her horse, if he was. But she didn't know how awkward this trip was going to be. Five hours. It was an extremely long time that could be filled with silence, yelling, or just simple talk. Lily wanted to talk. "Thanks for doing this again. I really appreciate it. And I promise I'll pay you for everything.." She admitted, and then waited patiently for his reply. She didn't know if he had the trailer hooked up or not, but she was here to help. If only he'd accept it.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 721
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Damn Regret by RJA

The night prior to the trip Wyatt had tucked their little girl into her pink princess whatever it was bed, kissing her forehead. She was as girly as you could expect from a little girl and he was just waiting for her to ask when she could wear make up. He certainly wasn't looking forward to that phase in her life. Or boys. He'd rather her have the make up than the boys. Please, no. But just before he had turned off the light she had peeped out from under her blanket, asking him a question that had knocked him right off his damn rocker.

"When is mommy coming back?"

Wyatt had never had to tell Katy why her mother had left. His own father had done that for him. His father had given Katy a photo of Wyatt and Lily together, explaining that she had left. It was that simple and Katy had accepted it. Sure, Wyatt was furious when he found out but it eventually blew over. His old man got sick, so caring for him had softened Wyatt's resentment but not enough to the point to make one Parker forgive the other. Their stubborn streak was especially prominent in both men, although Wyatt was the only proof now.

Damn regret, I’ll try to forget
Don’t worry about me
Cause I’m real fine
Cast my line
To see what’s behind
Did you think you persuaded me to let you go?

I’m wishing you were here
My weakness is my fear
Alone I am myself
No reason left for me to care
Distracted by the sound
I hear footsteps all around
Empowered by adrenaline
Feel I've been born again
Again, I am repeating myself

For once Wyatt had watched the television after tucking Katy in. He had to fiddle around with the remote and look through the t.v. guide a couple of times before he finally found the news channel. Just in time too to see the weather for the next few days. Today wasn't a scorcher, in fact it was actually very mild at just under thirty degrees celsius. It didn't stop Wyatt from wearing his long sleeved shirt through. Then the tossing and turning, a sleepless night that left him with his head in his hands on the edge of the bed. Again. It certainly wasn't the first time and might not be the last. Adjusting his stetson on his head, Wyatt watched Lily. He'd never seen her that skinny. To be honest, she looked good. Lily was still attractive, with her light brunette hair and stormy grey eyes. She looked tired. He felt exactly that. Tired.

One less thing to do.

He brushed off her unnecessary apology, not daring to look up as he scuffed his boots on the floor. On the other side of the stables in the larger stalls, Hero popped his head over his stall and flicked his head up and down. The stallions long mane flew up, pelting down over his eyes. Wyatt never clipped his horses manes, so most of them were pretty long, but neat. Wyatt whistled to Hero and the black mustangs' ears flicked forward, watching his owner with intense interest. He then began to kick his stall door with his front hooves, backing up into his stall and disappearing.

Grumpy old man.

Wyatt muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. Lily had just filled up the water bucket and was returning it to its stable. He cricked his neck and waited on her return. He wanted to get on the road sooner rather than later. When Lily came back, she was thanking him. There were a little hot flush in his cheeks and he looked slightly uncomfortable, fiddling with his collar.

Its no bother.

He replied. Wyatt knelt down next to the one of the buckets, picking up a scrubbing brush. He filled the bucket with a little soapy water, beginning to scrub at the sides. He had taken care of the trailer the previous night, hooking it up to his own car. He had no idea what Lily was doing now, but he just kept working at the bucket.

Did Billy know you were comin' back?

He was uncomfortable with the silence and had looked for anything to say. Before he knew it those were the words he blurted out, sounding pretty casual about it but also tightly reigned in, like he was keeping himself back. He had too many questions to just blurt out the first one that came to mind. It was unsteady ground and he wasn't sure if setting one foot in that kind of territory would tip the whole damn iceberg. So, now that he looked back on it, maybe it wasn't such a smart thing to ask.

[Lily Parker]

The ache that Lily felt in her heart for Katy was large enough for Lily to form tears in her eyes. She knew that leaving had been her choice and her decision, but it didn't mean that she liked it. Leaving had been the hardest thing she had ever done, and she didn't know if Wyatt realized that. Lily hadn't wanted to leave, but she wasn't doing her family any good with the way that she was. The depression was changing her for the worst, and even when she had her better days, she had never been truly happy. She had never been the old Lily, and that was something that she missed more than anything else. She missed the long talks that she had with Wyatt when they had gone out for their sunset ride, she missed the nights sitting on the couch with Katy falling asleep between them. She missed her family.

Shaking her head slightly, she tried her best to ignore the feelings inside of her. It had been her fault, and she had no one else to blame. Biting her lip for a moment, she tried to think of what she could do to prove to Wyatt that she was here to stay, that she was here to fix things between them. Didn't the fact that she had asked to bring a horse here solidify that? She didn't plan on leaving anytime soon, unless of course Wyatt asked her to. As she crouched down to scrub the next bucket, she felt a sudden pain in her stomach. Grimacing for a moment, she held her arms around it for a moment, thinking it was just her nerves. Lily had always gotten stomach aches when she had been nervous or worried, and she wasn't going to think any differently now. Rubbing her stomach for another moment, she relaxed when the pains passed, and then finished with one of the last buckets. Rinsing it, she filled it up and carted it to the stall that she had gotten it from.

But that was when Wyatt had shown up. Things hadn't gone that bad with him yesterday when they had been turning the horses out. She had felt relaxed and not out of place for once since coming back in this town. But now the awkwardness had returned, and Lily didn't know what to do. She nodded at his statement of one less thing to do, and then a small formed on her face when he spoke about Hero. "It doesn't seem like he's changed much." She spoke out quietly, but then wondered if it was her place to say something like that. Reddening instantly, she finished the last bucket as he scrubbed another one, and made sure she busied herself for a moment in case that had been the wrong thing to say. Why did she have to open her mouth? Things were tense enough already without her reminding him that she had been gone. Like he didn't know that already, but she didn't need to be shoving it in his face. Shaking her head at herself, she heard his next words, and then offered him a small smile. "Well, thanks anyway.." She said with a small nod of her head, and then looked down at the bucket he was scrubbing. She had filled and placed the last bucket she had been taking care of in the remaining stall, and now she was ready to get on the road.

His next words surprised her, and caught her off guard. Her face reddened once again, and she looked to the ground almost immediately. The toe of her scuffed boot dug into the ground, and she was trying her best not to seem like she was effected too much by his question. After a moment, she reached up to pull the brim of her black baseball cap down, and then finally worked up her courage to answer him. If they were going to start talking about this, Lily wanted to finish. She was no longer the woman who would skirt around subjects that made her uncomfortable. She was still shy and quiet, but now when she had something on her mind, she usually spoke about it. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled and then finally answered him. "No." It was a simple response, but she wasn't finished. Looking down to the ground, she found she couldn't face him now. "I was afraid that if I told him, he'd tell you, and then you'd say no. I understand that you probably don't want me here, but leaving was the worst thing I could have ever done. I needed to explain..I need to." She finally finished, thinking that about ruined the trip. So much for getting Flyer today. Lily couldn't believe those words had come from her mouth, but she obviously needed to say them, for she felt better. Until she was waiting for his response.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 526
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Photograph by Nickelback

Wyatt couldn't the many thoughts rushing into his head. The silence sitting between the two of them with few words far and inbetween, it was hard to keep his mind straight. But keeping himself busy was enough to be able to ignore them, perhaps just push them to the side. He was well aware of all the emotions making him dizzy but he couldn't really do a damn thing about them. He continued to scrub the bucket, finishing it up and rinsing it out. The stall it belonged to was nearest to him so once he had filled it up, he returned it to the stall. The horse in it was a liver chestnut, its flaxen mane reaching right down to its shoulders. The horse nibbled Wyatt's shoulder as he put down the water bucket and he obligingly rubbed the mare's neck. He stepped out of the stall, looking down rather than up. Lily had said something about Hero not having changed much. Yes, it was another reminder that she had left. Yes, it did hurt. And yes, it screamed "caution" in his mind. Wyatt looked up at Lily for only a moment before clearing up the brushes, wiping one off and setting it down on the ground.

He had to stop. Wyatt was forced to listen to Lily after his own question had come about. He stared at the ground, still kneeling down with his hands clasped together. He turned on the tap and cleaned them off, still able to hear what she was saying, although it looked like he was ignoring her. She corrected herself when she had finished, about needing to explain. Was Wyatt ready for that? The big shock that'd make his stomach flip?

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

That was probably the smartest thing to do. I would've said no.

Wyatt knew from the first time they had reunited, that he would have flipped and said no. Despite how much he loved her, he couldn't bring himself away from the hurt and the bitterness. He had been honest with her just now and had always been honest with her, no matter how much she didn't want to hear that yes, that dress wasn't flattering and no, the frills are ridiculous. You could have smiled at those sorts of things before, but not now.

I can understand why you left. I would've tried to convince you to stay if you'd consulted me beforehand.

It sounded as if Wyatt was speaking to himself. He was fiddling with his hands. His marital digit had no ring on it. He had taken that ring off the day his father died. He couldn't explain why but something inside of him just stopped. That's it, it just stopped. He didn't know what, but something had.

Are you here for a divorce?

The words were forced out of his mouth and he swallowed afterwards, finally standing up. She wasn't looking at him either, but he was looking at her now. His eyes were almost snake-like, ready to defend himself if the answer was yes. He could take bits of information at a time, but not the whole explanation in one go. Not yet.

[Lily Parker]

Lily knew that she owed him an explanation and today was the perfect day to talk about it. She hadn't wanted to start it until they were on the road and driving, but it seemed like he had opened up the opportunity with his words about whether or not Bill knew about her return. She figured that in the truck neither one of them would be able to escape the inevitable, but apparently that wasn't going to be the start of their conversation. Lily took a deep breath to steady herself, and then exhaled slowly. She just needed to go slow, that was all. As she leaned up against the side of the barn for a moment, she looked over her shoulder and saw a familiar head. It belonged to Beau, and for some reason, she felt a new strength wash over her. The chestnut gelding had always been there for her in the past, and he had given her strength every day she went to him.

Why hadn't she thought of him before? Beau had always been there for her when she thought that no one else was. He never judged and never complained, and that was what she had needed at the time. The long rides she took with him were perfect, and now she had completely forgotten. As he nickered her way, a small smile worked its way onto her face, and she stepped to him for a moment as Wyatt continued to rinse the scrub brushes. Her hands went to hold the horse's muzzle, and she leaned forward to gently kissed his nose. Rubbing her hand up and down his long face, she felt like she was supported now. She could do this. She needed to do this. Turning from the horse after he nuzzled her shoulder, she patted his muscular neck and then walked out of the barn again. Seeing Wyatt straighten from the brushes, she listened quietly to his first words. Well that hadn't changed about him. He was still brutally honest, and Lily felt like he had slapped her across the face.

The pain in her heart at the sound of his voice and the meaning of her words quickly dashed any hope of ever being with him again. He would never want her again. Not after what she did. Biting her lower lip, she looked to the ground once more and tried her best to hide what she was feeling. She deserved that, she really did. Shaking her head slightly, she looked up as he began to speak once more. If he wanted to get mad at her, let him. She wanted him to get angry at her. Maybe it would help him through this. Sighing quietly, the young woman looked to him and registered what he was saying now. He would have tried to stop her, and she had been expecting that. That was why she had left like she did. She couldn't have anyone stopping her, and she had to get him to understand that. "I know, and I can't begin to tell you how sorry I really am. But I had to leave. It was selfish, I know. But I had to help myself before I could help my family. Please, let me explain. Please." She finished quietly, wondering if he would ever hear her out or understand.

Her depression might have hit him hard, but it was harder for her. She was the one going through it, and feeling like she had nothing left in this life. She was the one who felt like no one could ever love her and Wyatt was only with her because of their child. She didn't know how to get him to realize that leaving had been to help him and Katy first. Sighing once more, she was about to speak up once more, but his words got in first. What he said felt like a punch to her stomach, and for a moment she clutched her abdomen from the pain. That had to be from the shock. Staying silent for a moment, she kept grabbing her stomach, and then looked up at him in disbelief. She never thought that he'd be the one to mention it. Was that what he really wanted? Lily didn't want it to come to that. She hadn't sent papers for a reason. Looking into his eyes now, she spoke up immediately. No. No, I'm not. Is that what you want?" She had to know, even though she was afraid of the answer. But if it became clear, maybe they could start working through this. Maybe there was a chance. She waited now, and was relieved when the pain in her stomach passed. Straightening a bit more, she looked away now, not knowing if she could handle his answer.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 635
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Photograph by Nickelback

Wyatt had taken a sneak peak, watching Lily interact with her old horse. You just had to smile, thinking of the day Beau had been presented to her as a birthday gift. Beau had had a bow on his head and somehow it had landed onto Wyatt's forehead, along with a kiss. Wyatt's head tilted down again. He felt extremely awkward. He hadn't been raised in a city where most people were loud and boisterous. He had always been and will continue to be a hard-working ranching man. As ridiculous as that sounded, it was the absolute truth. He couldn't imagine doing anything else because that idea seemed absurd - he loved his horses, even though he never admitted it out loud. He cared for them and would never sell them. They were all as much a part of the family as Lily, even if there ties weren't strong.

Lily was begging him to let her explain herself, saying she was sorry and referring to him and Katy as "my family". He felt the lump rise in his throat, preventing him from saying anything and the stab in his heart that prevented most of his compassion from leaking too far out. He tapped his fingers on the brushes before he had laid them down. He had already delivered the words that would make her feel like she had been slapped across the face. Now he was standing, asking her about a divorce that she hadn't expected. Wyatt watched the way she clutched her stomach, a pained cringe in her eyes.

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Wyatt was disturbed by the way she clutched her stomach. Why did she look like she was in pain? What the hell was going on? He could render up all sorts of accusations, but the first thing that came to his mind was to ask her if she was alright. To hold her. Now a man who hated a woman wouldn't think that, but a man who loved a woman enough would care to ask her that question. He had no time to ask, she was already replying to what he had said a few moments ago. Wyatt brushed his fingers through his hair, pulling it back and leaving it messily arranged on his scalp. He exhaled through his lips, looking up at her as if feeling defeated. He was just tired.

No.

He paused.

That's not what I want, Lil.

Wyatt's eyes widened when he said her old nickname and he froze. But that only lasted a moment before a little colour rose in his cheeks. Dammit, he was thinking.

I know you want to explain everything. I've heard plenty of that, but I don't think I could take it right now.

He sounded exasperated and he turned his back on her, facing his truck. It was parked in the front yard with the large trailer attached to it. Everything was already loaded. All there was to do now was get in and go get her horse. He looked pensive, eventually looking down and scuffing his boot in the dirt.

Guess its gonna have to come out sooner or later. If you aren't here for a divorce, then what made you come back?

Wyatt turned around to face her. He didn't know that inside her a cancer was eating away at the lining of her stomach, causing the pain that was enough to make her clutch her stomach. Lily was beautiful. She always had been. But they had a lot to get through. Fate had planned it perfectly that just as they started to get along, the cancer would abruptly bring more pain into their lives. Her eyes told nothing of it, they just told the story of a man and a woman who had no damn idea what was in the other ones head.

[Lily Parker]

This entire situation felt like it was hopeless. Her love for Wyatt had never ended or lessened, and she felt like she had no place here any longer. Wyatt didn't want her here, and he had made that amazingly clear with his earlier words. How was she going to force her presence on him when he didn't even want it? Shaking her head slightly to herself, she crossed her arms across her chest for a moment, trying to think through this entire situation. They were talking about it however, which was something that Lily never thought would happen so soon. She was the kind of person that didn't really want to face her problems, which was seen in a prime example beforehand. And Wyatt never really spoke about how he was feeling or what he was thinking, so all of this was a bit surprising. It seemed that they had both changed a small amount during her absence.

Lily didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She was trying her best to be the old Lily that Wyatt had known and loved, but it seemed that that was near impossible. Would he ever have the same feelings for her again? Lily didn't know, and she didn't want to know the answer at the moment. Sighing quietly, she turned her blue grey eyes to look into Wyatt's as he began to speak. No. No, he had said no. Relief washed over her, and her tense shoulders relaxed instantly. Then maybe he still wanted to fix this. Maybe they still had a chance. Lily just had to make this up to him. And then maybe something could possibly happen. Biting her lower lip, she realized she had just started a bad nervous habit with that action. As she looked to the ground, she became aware of his words once more. Not looking up, she let the meaning sink in and knew that he didn't want to hear what she had to say. She would have to wait until he was ready. "Okay." She didn't know what else to say in response to that.

The young woman figured that they were done speaking about the subject, so she pulled the brim of her baseball cap down and then started towards the truck. She figured that this ride was going to be filled with silence because it didn't seem like they had anything else to talk about. But then a thought hit her. He had finally said her name. It had taken him all of this time, and he had finally referred to her as Lil. Her old nickname. He was the only one who had said it, and it filled her heart with the same familiar feeling of hope and happiness. But he had reddened as soon as he realized what he had done, and she just looked down at the same moment. He had turned his back on her then, and she had just let him. What else was she supposed to do in all honesty? Sighing once more, she looked up as his question hit her. Why was she here? Lily didn't even know the full answer to that question, but she knew some of it. Raising her eyes, she finally spoke once more. "Because I felt ready to come back. I felt ready to face you and what I did, and I want to make things work, even if you don't right now. And I can wait until you're ready." She finished quietly, and then nodded her head as if solidfying her answer. Looking back to the barn, she saw Beau's head over his stall door still, and he whinnied her way after a moment. She just looked at the gelding, knowing that now wasn't the time. Facing Wyatt and the problems that she had created was what was important at this moment in time.

Lily stepped forward once more, but this time she was heading to his truck. She didn't know if he was going to say anything else about the subject, but Lily knew that it was making them both extremely uncomfortable. And things were only going to get worse before they got better. What she didn't know was that the stomach pains were from the sickness that was now eating away at the lining inside of her abdomen. She didn't know that she was in for the worst pain she had ever experienced in her entire life, and that the fear she was going to feel was nothing like before. Lily's life was going to be changed by this cancer, and so was everyone else's around her. What she didn't know was that it would either make or break her and Wyatt's relationship, which was something she wouldn't want to face when she was so sick. But she would. Lily was done running. SHe was going to face her problems. Finally reaching the passenger side of his truck, she stopped with her hand on the door handle. "Ready?"

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 423
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Closer by Ne-Yo

Lily had been walking forwards and had stopped, a sigh passing from her lips. She replied to his question, the one he was almost prepared to receive. But Wyatt had been preparing himself for a fall. She gave him an answer that should have made him snap out of whatever he was in. Was he bitter? Angry? Defeated? I'll say it again: just tired. Tired of the waiting, tired from the long nights spent awake, tired from one loss after the other...it was exhausting, plain and simple. Lily had set him up for a fall. A fall from confusion to undecidedness. How could Wyatt make this better for the both of them? How was he going to be able to wrap his arms around her and caress her hair, kiss her lips and love her again? Questions, questions. They swirled around in his mind, gnawing at what was left of his good judgement. Not like his judgement seemed impeccable anyway.

Wyatt just nodded when Lily finished speaking, the words escaping him, or rather, locking with a vice-like grip in his throat. She passed him by and her sweet aroma teased him like a chained dog. He ran a hand through his hair again, unable to turn around. Deep breaths made him dizzy, so he inhaled shallow breaths, just to make him calm. Don't lose it, he reminded himself. Eventually when he got himself to turn around, Lily was by his truck already. She was asking him if he was ready. No.

Yeah.

Turn the lights off in this place
And she shines just like a star
And I swear I know her face
I just don't know who you are
Turn the music up in here
I still hear her loud and clear
Like she's right there in my ear
Telling me that she wants to own me
To control me
Come closer

And I just can't pull my self away
Under her spell I can't break
I just can't stop
And i just can't bring myself no way
But I don't want to escape
I just can't stop

Wyatt approached his truck, taking the remote and keys out of his pocket. Wyatt had his stetson in his other hand and he laid it on the top of the truck. He moved around to her side of the truck. He pointed the remote at the truck and its lights flashed, beeping twice and he could hear the doors unlock themselves. He touched her hand, removing it from the handle with a gentle touch and then continuing to open the door for her. Had he hidden his surprise at how soft her hands felt? His cheeks flushed again and he felt like a damned schoolgirl. He didn't say anything, simply closing the door behind Lily once she was in then headed over to his side. He picked up his stetson, setting it on the dashboard once seated in the drivers seat, putting the key into the ignition. He could swear that just before they drove off, he'd seen Billy's face in the window of the Bunker. Gonna get you later, bud.

[Lily Parker]

Lily wasn't expecting Wyatt to respond to her words, but at least he had been able to listen. At least he knew what she was here for, and what she was going to do here. That was that she wanted in all honesty. She wanted him to know that she wasn't here just to shove her absence in his face. And now he knew that that wasn't the case. She would never do anything like that, but that didn't matter now. Now that they had gotten past the first encounter of her leaving, they could move forward. That was a small step in the right direction, wasn't it? Lily didn't want it to stop there, but she didn't think they could talk about anything else at the time being. Lily just stopped at the door of his truck now, and heard his words that he was ready. She doubted that he was becuae she definitely wasn't, but maybe he was stronger than she was. As he walked her way, she furrowed her brow, but then saw what he was doing.

Wyatt had always been a gentleman, even in their high school years. He had always opened doors for her and given her his jacket when it was cold, even if she didn't want it. He would make sure she had shelter from the rain, and anything else she really needed. Lily had always thanked him, but he usually never responded. But that didn't stop her this time either. As his hand touched hers, Lily felt her heartbeat increase, and she hoped that he couldn't hear the racing. Her face reddened slightly, but she hoped the shadow from the brim of her hat hid that much from view. His simple touch was sending her head over heels, and she couldn't get over the feeling of his rough work hands. They were still the same. Lily held her breath for a moment, and then watched as he opened the door, releasing her hand from his own. Her eyes met his after a while, and she spoke quietly. "Thank you." Stepping up into the truck, she got in and leaned away as he shut the door. Reaching to her shoulder, she pulled the seatbelt down and was soon buckled into place, and now was just waiting for him to get in. Once he was, she went instantly to roll down her window, for her stomach was beginning to ache again. She pinned it down as just nerves from what they were about to do, but she couldn't be sure.

The ride was long and quiet, without only a few words here and there, especially if he asked about Flyer. She wasn't sugarcoating the horse, so she was preparing Wyatt for what he was about to see. Flyer wasn't like any other wild horse that they had ever come in contact with. His bitterness and even hatred towards the people that brought him in from the wild and abused him was still apparent, and even though the people at the BLM didn't harm him, he didn't care. He was still a ball of fire and dangerous spirit, but Lily was already in love with the rare stallion. His breed was a mystery, and she was drawn to that for some reason. She was also drawn to him because they were much alike. They both felt trapt in this life, and betrayed by themselves. He had gotten himself into this mess, and so had Lily. They were more alike then anyone would ever admit. As Wyatt pulled into the back of the BLM where they could load the stallion, Lily caught the first glimpse of her stallion as he thundered around the round pen. The blue roan was a proud and magnificent animal, but he was more dangerous than any horse the BLM had ever dealt with. They had actually considered putting him to sleep because of it, but Lily had stepped in. The horse needed as much help as she did, and she wouldn't let his life go to waste. Lily jumped out of the truck without a moment to spare, and was soon speaking to the man in charge, having become close to him in the time that she had worked here. They had the plan laid out. They were going to sedate him so he didn't injure himself or the people involved, and it would last just until they got him into the round pen at home if they didn't get delayed.

Lily just nodded her head and then went to the round pen. The horse knew and recognized her scent and her presence. As Lily climbed the boards to the round pen, she sent out a low whistle that instantly caught Flyer's attention. He slid to a stop from his dead run around the circle, dirt and rocks flying up from beneath his hooves. Lily's breath caught in her throat as she stared at the sweat covered Nokota, watching as his nostrils flared and his muscles trembled. What had happened to him in her absence? He had been making progress when she was working with him everyday. Did no one spend time with him? Shaking her head in disbelief, she spoke quietly to the stallion, and his attention was focused solely upon her. "Easy there, Fly. We're going to get you out of here boy. You're going to be alright." She said soothingly, and watched as he instantly started to relax. Lily turned from the horse after a moment, and searched for Wyatt. Flyer was calm for the moment, and she hopped down from the fence. The man who was going to sedate him got into place, and Lily went to Wyatt once more. "He's not that bad, I promise. He was doing so much better before." She explained quietly, and then waited for his response. This wasn't going to be easy.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 514
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Wild Horses by Natasha Bedingfield

Five hours. No conversation, just the radio playing god knows what. Wyatt had his window open, just like Lily's, with his elbow resting on the frame. He chewed his nail, like he was nervous or thinking. It was just one. He was thinking. Thinking about this, thinking about that. He tried to imagine the stallion in his mind but he couldn't come up with a damn thing. It was like writers block, except something else. The countryside passed them by, not a blur but it didn't stand still in time. There were no images that would freeze in his mind until the end of his days. What he eventually realized was that he was practically leaning away from Lily, which he hadn't meant to do. Clearing his throat, Wyatt readjusted himself in his seat. He turned off the radio as the BLM came into view, looking t the wide paddocks stretching across the landscape. There were plenty of horses gathered in them, all of them looking a bit ruddy. Must have been brought in yesterday.

I feel these 4 walls closing in
My face up against the glass
I'm looking out... hmm
Is this my life I'm wondering
It happened so fast
How do I turn this thing around
Is this the bed I chose to make
Its greener pastures I'm thinking about hmm
Wide open spaces far away

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
Run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses!

Wyatt pulled his truck up around the back entrance, the dust rolling up around the wheels when he pulled up the brake. Lily was out of his truck, headed straight out, speaking to a man Wyatt knew as one of the many people in charge here at the BLM. Picking up his stetson Wyatt eventually got out. Before he went over, he delayed by checking the link holding the trailer to the truck. He fastened up the chain, checking the link again before he headed towards the open area where a few people were standing. One looked like a vet and there were a couple of others, most likely the ones who were going to restrain the stallion.

Lily came up to him after being with her horse, telling him about how bad he wasn't so bad. Wyatt's eyebrows raised and he turned his head towards her.

We'll see how he turns out.

He said, sounding a little disbelieving but he figured that with her, he'd be eating his words if he said anything bad about that horse of hers. The Nokota was a blue roan, with what looked like scars scattered all over his body. They were probably just his markings. Wyatt approached whom he presumed was in charge, conversing quietly with the man.

Think this horse'll tame?

"He responded to Lily. No one else has been able to get through to that stallion. One of the more spirited, I'd say. Good luck with him."

Wyatt cringed, walking over to the fencing that made up the round pen. The stallion was covered in sweat and he was already sizing up Wyatt. Wyatt stood with his feet braced apart, his hands in his pockets and his head held up straight. Two males, both as stubborn as mules. This was going to be hell. He'd be eating dirt just trying to get his stallion into a pen.

Alright, guys. Get it goin'.

He gave them the get-go, heading over towards his truck to set up the trailer by the gate.

[Lily Parker]

Lily watched the horse for another moment as she heard Wyatt's response. He didn't believe in the words that he was saying to her, and Lily could tell. But she would show him. She would show him that Flyer was worth all of this, and that he could be tamed. They just had to work at it, for it definitely wouldn't come easily. Her eyes focused on the stallion now, watching as he studied the people around him. The horse was intelligent, and that could pose a large problem with the people that became involved with him. He knew a lot more than other horses did because of his short past, and he wasn't going to let anything bring harm to him ever again. When that happened, he would turn violent, and that was something that no one wanted to happen. The horse was covered with scars that blended with his markings, for he was a wild horse, and he did get into a lot of fights for supremacy.

He was a bachelor stallion because he was only two, and he didn't have a herd of his own. Therefore, he didn't have the protection that a large group offered him, and there wasnt any safety in numbers. He had found himself running for his life more often than not, and eventually, he had gotten caught. It had only been a matter of time, and it hadn't been an easy round up, that was for certain. The horse was dangerous and many deemed him insane, until Lily came in contact with him. She had reached through his barriers and his walls, and he had done the same to her. She hadn't started to make real progress with her depression until Flyer came into the picture. The two had bonded instantly, but Fly's trust was fragile, as was Lily's. They had to work extremely slow, which was something they were both ready for and capable of. Lily wasn't going to give up on him, and he wasn't going to give up on Lily. That was a weight they both needed in their lives right now. The young woman watched for another moment, and then looked over her shoulder to see Wyatt talking to the man in charge. At least he seemed interested. Stepping away from the fence, she heard a low nicker coming from behind her, which was something that Fly had never offered her before.

Furrowing her brow, the young woman turned slowly, and then watched as the fiery, nervous stallion took one step forward. He knew Lily, and he knew that she was the one that had never hurt him before, or even attempted to go near him. He trusted her in his own small way, and he wanted her comfort now. She was his herd, and he needed that security. But he didn't know if he could trust himself or her enough to let her get close. Flyer lowered his head to the ground for a moment, and Lily watched him with baited breath. Would he really let her in? Had the distance between them only made their bond stronger? She was hoping that it would have been like that with Wyatt, but that wasn't the case at all. It was like the complete opposite. Lily stayed where she was however, not wanting to make any sudden moves as the stallion started taking small steps in her direction. Everything around Lily seemed to melt away, and she studied the horse's movements with a newly trained eye. He was tense as could be, but he was trying, having an inner argument with himself. As he continued stepping her way, Lily averted her eyes to the ground so he wouldn't feel threatened. But as he came inches from the fenceline, he finally lost his bravery. Snorting, he bid a hasty retreat, but didn't resort to tearing around the round pen. Lily released her breath, and then could only think positively. That had been progress. A small smile appeared on her face, and then she saw Wyatt watching the stallion. Fly pinned his ears as the man stared at him, and one could tell that it was going to be a battle of wills. It would certainly be a show to see. Lily heard Wyatt's words, and Fly tossed his head at the sudden sound. She couldn't wait to get him home to Silver Stag Ranch.

The vet that held the sedative was soon in his place, and Flyer's eyes followed the man quietly. He studied the vet as if studying a predator, and tossed his head in warning. As the vet got himself into position, he raised the gun, and that was when Flyer responded. He knew what those meant, and he wanted nothing of it. The stallion took off around the pen once more, his unshod hooves thundering around the uneven dirt. Lily sighed quietly, wishing that he would just settle down enough for them to get him into the trailer without the sedative. Shaking her head, she watched as the vet took a skillful aim. In another instant he had released the dart, and Lily could see the bright orange end sticking out from Fly's hindquarters. In another few minutes, the sedative had taken effect, and the men had the horse loaded into Wyatt's trailer. Fly's head was low and his eyes were slightly closed. He would remain quiet for a long while. Lily didn't waste anytime, for she knew what would happen if they didn't get him back before that sedative wore off. She headed for the truck after signing the last of the papers and then jumped in, waiting for Wyatt now.

[Wyatt Parker]

Word Count: 422
Status: Complete
Lyrics: Wild Horses by Natasha Bedingfield

Wyatt was in his truck when the vet tried taking aim at the stallion, turning the whole procession around in a large circle and beginning to back up into the gate. The vet had fired his shot and with precise aim. Wyatt could see the flicker of orange on the stallions hindquarters in his side mirror.

Got yourself in a fine mess, Parker.

He muttered, only audible enough for himself to hear. He had gotten out of the truck to assist in any way that he could but it didn't seem necessary. The extra help were directing the stallion into the trailer and as he walked past, Wyatt could see the way his eyes drooped. He hated putting any kind of medication in horses. Most of it was for absolute bull and drugging them up messed with their kidneys and livers if done too frequently. Once in the trailer, Wyatt stepped in to secure all of the locks. Once that was done, he turned to the men and tipped his hat.

Thanks. We've got it from here.

He looked over at Lily as she signed some more paperwork. There were so many regulations and laws in place that the paperwork was madness. It seemed never ending and he had no one idea where they stored all of that crap anyhow. They probably had a whole warehouse full.

I feel these 4 walls closing in
My face up against the glass
I'm looking out... hmm
Is this my life I'm wondering
It happened so fast
How do I turn this thing around
Is this the bed I chose to make
Its greener pastures I'm thinking about hmm
Wide open spaces far away

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
Run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses!

Wyatt removed his hat just before getting into his truck, setting it down on the dashboard again. He had his arm leaning against the window frame again, the wind blowing into the car as he set off, circulating around the small but hot space. He drove slowly down the driveway, careful of some of the bumps until they got out onto the road. He picked up some speed, wanting to make good headway whilst Flyer was on the sedative.

Finally got a horse of your own.

He said, turning his head to look at Lily. There was a small rise on the edge of his lips, as if he was on the verge of smiling. Wyatt's moods changed like the wind, it seemed. It was unpredictable, which probably made confrontations more difficult. Removing his arm from the window frame, Wyatt held onto the steering wheel, his other hand lying across his lap. He looked relaxed. Lily looked willing to take on this wild stallion so he had confidence in her to follow this through. Plus, by the way Flyer had tried approaching her earlier, it looked as if they already shared some kind of companionship.

[Lily Parker]

Lily hated seeing a horse drugged up just as much as Wyatt did. She didn't agree with the method, but this seemed like one of the most appropriate times to do it. Fly had been seriously hurt in the past when they hadn't sedated him and tried to get him into a trailer. The scar across his hindquarters was fresh and new, and that was a result of what had occurred during the attempt. So they had concluded that it was necessary to tranq him when it came to the trailer. Other than that, Flyer was never under the sedative, which was a good thing in Lily's eyes. She didn't want to see Fly get hurt or frightened anymore than he already was. The young woman kept a careful eye on her new horse as he was loaded up into Wyatt's trailer, and she was glad that he was the one that secured the stallion in. She relaxed now that Wyatt was checking to make sure everything was in place, and focused on the rest of the papers she had to sign.

She had prepared before this day, for she had taken care of most of the paperwork in the past. When she had been working here, she had attached herself to Flyer immediately, and had done most of the work then because she hadn't wanted there to be another person who wanted the other horse. She wasn't going to give anyone the opportunity to take the horse while she was gone. Sighing softly as her hand signed the last of the pages, she smiled to the man in charge. "Thanks for this Joe. I really appreciate it." She told him honestly, but the man just shook his head and rested his hand on her shoulder. "Our thanks goes to you Lily, for taking him out of here. Good luck with him; you're going to need it." Lily knew how Joe felt about Flyer, but it always stung when people showed that they had no faith in the stallion. She gave a half hearted smile that most likely showed her disappointment, and then thanked him anyway. She was still going to be nice, whether or not people believed in the horse. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled and then heard a nicker from inside of the trailer. Going to the window, she stepped up onto the ledge of the transport vehicle, looking in on the now quiet blue roan. She didn't understand everyone else's reasoning. She saw a lot of potential in the stallion. He was quick and swift on his feet, and it was obvious that he could turn on a dime if the situation called for it. His speed and his agility allowed him to gallop over dangerous uneven terrain without getting hurt.

In Lily's opinion, he'd make a perfect cutting horse, and he'd do well on the driving ranges as well if Wyatt ever allowed her to go out on one again. And if he ever let her on the back of the wild horse she now owned. She trusted Flyer though, and wished that someone other than her would give him a chance. It would only help him in the long run. As Fly snorted once more, Lily couldn't help but smile. When he was like this he looked like he was manageable, but he didn't look like the wild, spirited Nokota she had fallen in love with. Her smile was a sad one, but the love she had for the horse couldn't be diminished right now. Leaving the resting stallion, she stepped down and crossed over to the other side of the trailer. As she reached the door of the truck, she was stopped by one of the rather rude members of the working staff. Lily had put up with him in the past when it came to Fly and the mustangs that he didn't deem worth saving, but she had had enough. "Good luck with that nag Parker. The only thing he's good for is the dogs." Lily was so shocked that he had said something like that, she completely lost her train of thought. Looking at him in disbelief, she opened her mouth but no sound came out. She was going to be the bigger person. She wasn't going to sink to his level. Giving him a smile, she just responded warmly. "Well thank you for being so considerate, but I don't remember ever asking for your opinion." She finished with a small scowl and then slammed the door in the guy's face. Settling in the seat, she put down the window and buckled her seat belt, and was more than relieved when Wyatt started driving down the drive and out to the road. She couldn't stand that man.

Staying silent for a moment, she let the wind created from the truck cool her down, until she heard Wyatt's words. Looking his way, she allowed herself to calm down, and saw the very small traces of a smile on his face. Lily felt relief wash over her, and she felt like a load had been dropped off of her shoulders. "I never thought my horse would be like him though." She was beginning to doubt herself because of the words being thrown around by the men who seemed more able and more intelligent when it came to the horses. But Lily refused to let them bring her down. Hardening her resolve, she sat up straighter, and then looked to Wyatt once more. "I can do this, I know I can. No one may have faith in me, but as long as I have faith in him, then this is possible. Right?" She finished, looking to the man beside her for a moment. Was this all a mistake? As she thought about that, the stomach pains started up again, and she brought her hand quickly to her abdomen. She didn't understand what was going on, but she was just going to call it a regular stomach ache. Maybe she was doing way too much too soon, but that didn't make any sense. Attempting to hide her grimace from Wyatt, she looked out the window and absentmindedly rubbed her stomach, putting pressure on it and hoping that it would help a little. This was going to be a long five hours if she was going to be in this much pain.